It All Runs Together
by DMcInk
Summary: AU: Bella Swan is a 17 year old girl living with cancer. At first she has hope. But when chemo takes over the situation Bella belives she will die and stops hoping, until she meets another cancer patient named Rosalie who changed Bella's life forever more
1. Chapter 1 Roses in December

_**AU fan fiction **_

_**Characters: Bella Swan and Rosalie Hale**_

_**Relationship: Friends**_

_**Drama/Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy **_

_**~ Believe it is possible to solve your problem. ~**_

_** Tremendous things happen to the believer.**_

_** So believe the answer will come.**_

_** It will.**_

_**Norman Vincent Peale**_

_**It All Runs Together**_

**_Summary._**

My name is Bella Swan, I guess I'm like any other sixteen year old teenager around, I love music and like to shop for new outfits basically. Like I said, pretty normal except for one little thing which has kind of ruined my plans for the next few years or so. I'm sick, I found out I had cancer about three months ago which was a big shock because I hadn't expected anything like that to ever happen to me but I guess like the other millions of people out there I was unlucky. Melanoma is the cancer I have, the doctors say it spreads through your skin first and then it can attack the organs in your body, well, the cancer has spread to my liver which sucks bad. Mum says I have to get chemo therapy to try to help me but the very thought of loosing my precious hair terrifies me beyond belief, I know what you're thinking, _you're more worried about your hair than dying?_, the answer to that question is quite simple, yes I'm more worried about loosing my hair because I know I'm not going to die. The reason for such enthusiasm is simply because I have hope. I will survive cancer.

* * *

**_Chapter One: _**

**_Roses in December _**

Bella sat quietly outside on the front porch of her home with her arms folded across her stomach as she watched the silent fall of this winter's first snow, it was gentle snow and was a brilliant white colour. She smiled quietly as her chocolate brown eyes followed the snow drops until they hit the dark grass in the rose garden that her mother had created especially for her. Bella was amazed that the roses were still alive after all this time, they looked healthy and were of course her favourite colour. Red.

Bella heard the faint ringing of her high school bell and sighed deeply as she remembered her friends who she hadn't seen or spoken to for a few weeks, she was too weak to stay seated in one place for too long. The first round of chemo for the cancer was due in a few days time so Rene, Bella's mother wanted to keep her home so that she would have enough energy when the time came for the severe treatment to begin.

Bella watched as the first of the students walked home from school with her school bag hanging over one shoulder and her mobile phone pressed against her ear as she laughed loudly without a care in the world. That was the girl Bella wanted to be again, the girl who didn't have to worry about anything but prom, boys and friendships. But she was very well known now as that poor cancer girl who will probably die soon, those words were the only thing she heard now from people whispering not knowing that she could hear them to others gasping and shaking their heads apologetically.

Bella wasn't normal anymore, even the popular kids wanted to hang out with her but that of course was out of the question. Popular and Bella never mixed that well and she wanted it to stay that way, cheerleading, makeup and who can drink most alcohol in ten minutes was not exactly her idea of a social life. Bella shook her head at the thought, she didn't want sympathy and she certainly didn't want to stand out in a crowd just because she had cancer. She was dealing with this disease in her own way just like millions of others in her exact situation, cancer wouldn't be the end of her, a new healthy beginning would come at a point.

"Bella, sweetheart are you okay?" Rene called from inside the house,

Bella arched her eyebrows as she turned her head slightly so she could peer inside the hallway,

"Yeah, I'm just watching the snow falling, it's beautiful you should come and see it!"

Bella heard her mother chuckle along with the sound of dishes clattering, she was in the kitchen like she always was just baking things and cleaning like an obsessive person.

"I can see the snow from the kitchen window, honey, are you sure you don't want to come inside it is after all very cold out there!" Rene called with a worried tone,

Bella rolled her eyes at her mother, always worrying and making a big deal out of nothing.

"I'm fine,"

"You might catch a cold, Bella baby, I think you better come back inside just in case, please?"

Bella sighed and shook her head before flicking a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear, she raised herself to her feet and stepped inside the toasty warm house and closed the door gently making sure not to bang it so the family pictures wouldn't fall off the walls.

"Do you need pain killers, your cough medicine's in the fridge if you've got a sore throat and I've made some hot tea if you're cold. Or if you like I could make you some hot chocolate and give you a slice of the cheesecake I made earlier." Rene sighed quickly with a sweet smile spread across her face as she kissed her daughter's cheek gently, "Oh, I almost forgot, if you have a sore back I bought you a hot water bottle so you can relax on the sofa and watch some TV."

Bella raised her arms with a giggle,

"Mum, calm down, I'm not in pain, I don't like cheesecake, I can't drink tea because I have sensitive teeth at the moment and my throat isn't hurting. Please don't worry so much, I am terrified that you are going to end up having a heart attack with all the stress you put on yourself!" Bella smiled as she hugged her mother gently.

Rene sighed and nodded as she held her daughter close,

"You're right, I'm being a little bit over the top but I am a mother, Bella. If you need anything at all just shout on me, okay?"

Bella nodded as Rene took her face gently between her hands and kissed her forehead before letting her go.

"I know mum, oh by the way I needed to ask you something!" Bella nodded as she clicked her fingers,

Rene nodded slowly,

"The roses in your garden, why are they still alive, it's like winter!"

Rene frowned at the silly question, she was probably expecting something major,

"I don't know, maybe they stay alive because you love them too much!" Rene laughed,

Bella nodded in agreement.

She then shrugged her shoulders before turning and walking into the corridor and then into the living room where Buddy was, Buddy was Bella's golden retriever that she'd had for seven years. He had to be the most gentlest, most relaxed and loyal dogs on the planet, he was now basically Bella's best friend.

"Hey, big guy!" Bella smiled as the gorgeous dog stood from his doggy bed to greet her with that wagging tail,

She stroked his golden fur before planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Bella!" Rene called from the kitchen once again,

Bella sat on the sofa and turned on the TV,

"Yeah?"

Rene quickly entered the living room with a beaming smile on her face.

"What are you all jolly about, did you win the lottery cause that would be pretty sweet!" Bella nodded,

Rene rolled her eyes and shook her head,

"No, it's not that dramatic. Well, this may actually be more dramatic that winning the lottery for you!"

Bella raised an eyebrow in question as her mother giggled like a child in excitement,

"will you spit it out already?"

Rene took a deep breath and released it quickly before calming herself down completely,

"Edward's coming to visit you!" Rene squealed with a giggle.

Bella's eyebrows raised as her eyes widened with complete shock, her jaw dropped slightly and the feeling of butterflies swarmed her stomach causing her to become extremely light headed.

"Seriously?" Bella managed to get out as she tried to control her dizziness by closing her eyes,

Rene nodded,

"Sweetie are you okay, another dizzy spill?"

Bella nodded silently as she blinked her eyes open again to look up at her mother with a faint smile spread across her pale features.

Edward Cullen was Bella Swan's best friend in the entire world, he had moved a few weeks ago woith his family to a new state which brought Bella down enormously. He was there with her when she first found out that she had cancer and was the shoulder she leaned on to cry, and Edward was the only one who treated her like a normal human which she searched for. The fact that he was coming to visit her again so soon after he left brightened her dull day up instantly, she felt wonderful inside,

"Oh yeah, this is brilliant, how do you know, did he contact you earlier?" Bella asked impatiently as she stood to her feet in wonder as a smile pulled at her lips revealing her white teeth and small dimples.

Rene shook her head with a bright smile,

"No, Bella, I just found out because he's standing in the kitchen!"

Bella gasped and ran through the house to see her best friend standing with a smile on his gorgeous face.

"Oh my god, Edward you're back!" Bella screamed excitedly,

Edward caught her as she ran into his arms and hugged her face to his chest, she looked up into his beautiful green eyes and smiled excitedly letting go of a goofy laugh that made Edward grin. Rene was almost crying at the sight of the pair together, he certainly made Bella feel better about herself when her self esteem was at its lowest.

"Now I know!" Bella smiled widely,

Edward cocked an eyebrow at Bella,

"Now you know what?" Edward said in his beautiful voice,

Bella giggled and turned to her mother before turning her face to Edward again,

"Now I know why my roses stayed alive, they were waiting until you came back to see me!"

Edward gulped while Rene quickly left the room to get rid of the tears that she wouldn't never admit to while Bella smiled at Edward quietly.

"You make me feel great, Bella, you know that?" Edward laughed,

Bella smiled,

"You make me feel like I'm healthy again, Edward…"


	2. Chapter 2 Hospital Phobia

**_~A sad soul can kill you quicker than a germ.~  
_**

**John Steinbeck**

* * *

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Hospital Phobia_**

"Bella, it's time for your hospital appointment!" Rene called from upstairs,

Great, I thought to myself as I pulled the duvet covers over my head and groaned as a frown of anxiety pulled at my eyebrows. Nerves were the worst part of course, feeling miserable already and then adding nerves just made things a whole lot horrible to the point where I wanted to be sick. The very thought of myself leaning over the toilet seat puking my guts out got my stomach churning in protest and my gag reflex working,

"Stop thinking of it!" I told myself in a rather agitated tone.

Soon enough I heard mum's footsteps on the creaky stairs that still had no carpet laid down on them because we were short of money at the moment, she knocked on my door,

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked politely in that sweet tone of hers.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I pulled the duvet back and sat up in my bed, I didn't want to go to hospital because I was feeling fine, chemo therapy wasn't needed right now.

"Come in mum!" I called in a dull voice that made her instantly turn the silver door knob and push the white painted door open that happened to have a poster of Brad Pitt on it.

God, he was gorgeous though mum was more of a George Clooney sort of woman as were all the other women who were friends with mum, they all thought he was magnificent and I always won the arguments on the Pitt vs. Clooney dispute that happened every once in a while.

"Why aren't you out of bed yet, young lady?" mum sighed with an unhappy look planted on her face, "I told you an hour ago to get ready and you blatantly ignored me, why?"

I didn't like making mum angry but she was so annoying sometimes that I just wanted to block her voice out, I know she was trying to help but my teenaged hormones were quite vicious lately and made me quite the nasty person.

"I don't want to go!" I frowned as I shrugged my shoulders and began running my index finger along the knuckles on my hand,

Rene looked at me silently for a moment before stepping closer in my direction,

"You do realise that you're very sick, Bella, don't you?" she asked softly.

What that supposed to be a question aimed for someone who had a genius status in the world or was she just taking me as being a fool to the situation I had been thrown in,

"Yes, of course I realise that I'm not as healthy as I used to be, mum, but I feel great today so there is no need for you to drag me down to Mercy hospital when there's no need!" I explained myself to her but she didn't seem to be listening which annoyed me.

"Bella, just because you don't feel sick doesn't mean you aren't sick!"

"I know, it's just--"

"Just what?" mum interrupted with an upset look on her features, she didn't know what I was getting at here which scared her, I could see the fear and frustration in her deep blue eyes.

I sighed and broke my eye contact with her, she already probably thought of me as a coward anyway so there wasn't any need to hide the truth from her any longer, it was cruel, she had the right to know what was on her sick daughter's mind.

"I'm scared…" I said softly as I frowned and looked towards her once again,

Rene's frown disappeared and her watery eyes returned which was a relief, she obviously didn't think of me as a coward then and felt apologetic once again.

"You're scared…, of the chemo therapy?" she asked

I sighed and nodded,

"I'm scared of everything, mum, of having that poison run through my veins to having my hair fall out all over the place so I'd look like a freak!" I shook my head at the thought of myself as a baldy person, it scared me.

"Sweetheart, I know that you feel terrified of this situation but you must understand that the doctors are saving your life. You really think your hair's that important?"

"Yes!" I gasped as I nodded, "of course it is, I'd rather die than have no hair!"

Rene gulped and sighed shakily,

"Don't ever say that to me again or I will freak out with you, understand?"

I nodded in agreement and she pulled me close against her kissing my forehead and smelling my soft dark hair that I cherished more than anything.

"When's dad coming home?" I asked curiously,

Dad had been working a lot lately, the crime rate had gone up quickly and being the Sheriff of police dad had to catch criminals on top of doing paper work and training other newbie police officers. He started work around eight in the morning and finished at eight at night, he worked long shifts and whenever he did come home he was extremely tired from his hard work.

"Dad will be meeting us at the hospital today, he's got time off for your appointment but he'll be called back tomorrow," Rene explained,

I nodded and sighed as she pulled herself away from me and towards my bedroom door.

"Get dressed, Bella, we don't want to be late for the appointment…, again!" she sighed before stepping out of the room and shutting the door.

I huffed and grabbed my pillow and stuffing my face in it until I felt tired again, but I couldn't sleep which was the difficult part because I just wanted to climb under my covers and drift off into dream land again.

"Bella, if I come in there and you're not dressed in fifteen minutes I will dress you myself and don't think I wont!" Rene called from downstairs,

I groaned,

"Go away…"

* * *

I brushed back the last pieces of my hair into a red hair bobble before observing my face for any new spots that had popped up on my rather pale looking face. No spots were visible but the dark marks under my eyes were horrible to look at, my lips were also cracked because I hadn't been drinking a lot of water lately.

I decided to add a little blusher to my cheeks to add some life to my pale, sickly look that I always wore. It didn't do much for the dark marks under my eyes but I was just too tired to do anything with them. I stood from my lovely warm bed and walked towards the mirror that was built in my messy wardrobe and I checked myself over, the jeans I were wearing were the new trendy style, ripped at the knees, light blue and slightly flared. With them I wore a simple white tee-shirt with a pink hooded top over that to keep me warm in the freezing weather outside. My trainers were worn out, faded and ripped but it was the best I could do for now.

"Bella, are you ready yet?" mum called from downstairs,

I sighed and nodded,

"Yeah, I'll be right down in a minute!" I called as I quickly removed a perfume bottle from my make-up bag that was virtually empty except from blusher and lipstick that I refused to wear.

Spraying a little on my wrists and neck, I quickly grabbed my thick coat and woolly pink and white scarf from my wardrobe and headed out of my bedroom and down the stairs to where mum was reading the local newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee.

"Are we going?" I asked as I put my scarf around my neck and zipped my coat up before slipping my hands into the pockets of my jeans,

Rene looked up at me and smiled, she had applied much more make-up which suited her well. Mascara, blusher, foundation and eye shadow.

"Yep, you hungry?" she asked me as I stood silently,

I shook my head and sighed,

"No, can we go now because I'm feeling kind of light headed?" I asked as the feeling of dizziness over powered me to the point that I was stumbling slightly to the left.

Mum quickly jumped up from her seat and steadied me before grasping my hand in hers and walking me to the front door where she escorted me out to our car. I sat in the front passenger seat and watched mum lock the door as I adjusted my seatbelt. The car was freezing, more colder than outside, I began to shiver and wrap my arms around myself to try to keep warm.

Mum opened the driver side door and stepped inside gasping at the cold as well as she slammed the door shut and slid her key into the ignition to start the car up. She turned on the heaters while I turned on the radio at a low volume, changing the music channel to the news so I could hear what the latest reports were.

"Don't worry, the car should heat up in just a minute sweetie…" mum smiled as she kissed my forehead before handing me a pair of black gloves that she had taken from inside the house.

I smiled at her,

"Thanks!" I laughed before putting the warm gloves over my icicle like hands and cupping them around my face so that I could blow hot air into them to heat them up.

I felt the warm heat blow into my face from the heaters and I smiled as I managed to stop shaking from the cold,

"Okay, kiddo, lets go to the hospital then…"

I sighed and nodded as she backed the car up out of the driveway and drove off down the neighbourhood until we were out of sight.

* * *

As mum parked in the car park near the hospital entrance I could spot lots of other people walking about in dressing gowns and slippers which made me frown as I saw their bare legs. Anyone with more sense would wear warm pyjamas out in weather like this. Mum opened her door and I followed opening my door and stepping out the fresh cold air again that stung my nose slightly.

I looked at the great big hospital, it was intimidating to be here, I hated coming to hospital for check ups, I hated blood and needles and everything. The smell was disgusting, all the medicines in the air, the elevators were a big phobia of mines. I hated going in the damn things, they made me dizzy and sick and the fear of them stopping and me suffocating in one was also another big factor of my dislike for them but it wasn't like stairs was an option.

My appointment would be taken on the fifteenth floor of the hospital, it would be a struggle for me to climb up all those stairs so that was a no. I sighed and followed mum as she walked across the car park towards the entrance where we saw a few sick kids with no hair, bandanas tied around their bald heads. Cancer. I gulped and nudged mum,

"That's going to be me soon, isn't it?" I whispered quietly while looking at one of the little boys who was playing with a stuffed dog toy with a missing eye and a collar that read Rufus.

Mum turned to me with a saddened look,

"Don't lie to me, I'm going to loose my hair aren't I?" I asked,

Instead of giving me a straight answer she shrugged and shook her head.

"I can't give you an answer on that one, sweetie."

I sighed as she walked into the entrance of the hospital and I followed closely behind, I looked around the giant entrance, there were nurses and doctors walking about everywhere. Going in elevators, coming out of elevators, walking down the stairs, coming out of rooms, wheeling patients around in wheelchairs. I already hated the place and I had only walked in a few second ago not to mention the security cameras everywhere, and of course the vile smell of medicine was in the air.

"Where's dad, you said he would be here…" I frowned as I looked around each individual face to see if I could spot him but I was unsuccessful and gave up as I followed Rene to the terrifying silver elevator doors that slid open and a group of patients and doctors walked out leaving me and mum with a few others to step inside.

"I hate this hospital so much…" I said as I hid my face in mum's jacket and closed my eyes tightly as the elevator began to move giving me butterflies in the pit of my stomach and dizziness clouded my mind once again.

But the elevator stopped with a ping after a while and we ended up at the place we needed to be where doctors and nurses were once again with clip boards in their hands and talking in medical conversation that was impossible to understand without a medical degree.

We walked past these doctors who greeted us nicely and pushed two large doors open that led to the special unit where it deals with patients like me. My cancer was Melanoma and apparently Mercy hospital had the best doctors and professors on this type of cancer that I had only heard of about three months ago. My doctor, Dr. Charles Harvey was the one who diagnosed me and had done a bunch of tests in these machines where they found that the cancer cells had spread to my liver.

Today was time for another scan thing that happened where I had blood drawn, I had other little tests done and I had to go into this machine called a CT or CAT scan that took detailed images of my body. Once the doctors do this test they would determine if I needed chemo therapy. If the cancer had spread even the tiniest bit then I would need chemo and possibly radiation therapy for the cancer cells in my skin.

Could things get any worse? I sure hoped not…, The only thing that would really help me was thinking of Edward's smile.


	3. Chapter 3 Pain Only Lasts So Long

_**Thanks for the wonderful reviews!**_

**_We must embrace pain_**

**_ and burn it as fuel_**

**_ for our journey. _**

**_ ~Kenji Miyazawa~_**

_**Chapter 3**_

_**Pain Only Lasts So Long**_

* * *

As I lay in the cylinder like machine I had a moment of prayer, I hoped that the doctors would say that I had the all clear and I could go home with the joy that I desperately hoped for. Time would only tell if the results came back with good outcomes, like I said I prayed…, but as I would soon find out praying sometimes isn't enough to bring hopes into reality.

"Okay, Bella, we've finished, we'll be right in there to get you out…" one of the female doctors called to me through the microphone in the CT machine.

I gulped, her voice was enthusiastic but that's the way doctors presented themselves all the time, like everything's just fine when in reality your world is about to come crashing down like a building filled with explosives. I sighed deeply as I heard the machine buzz and then I was slowly removed from the machine and looked up at the bright lights and the doctors in their white coats before I managed to sit up on my own without a flinch of pain which was very unusual, maybe the enthusiasm was real. Maybe that doctor was happy about my results, if there was no pain then things would be okay. Maybe everything was piecing together like a scattered jigsaw puzzle being placed together to form the picture I had a vision of for the last three months almost four now. Perhaps I would be a normal, healthy teenager again that could worry about prom, boys and friends. With cancer over my shoulder I could fit in with society again and not stick out like a sore thumb in my high school as kids around be whispered behind my back.

"Alright Bella, you did great in there, lets have a talk with you and your parents, okay?" The smiling blonde nurse smiled as she helped me to my feet as I stood in a white hospital gown with blue patterns over it.

I nodded silently as both excitement and fear buzzed through me, I followed the doctors out of the room where there were a crowd of very intelligent professors gathered just talking as they compared results on the clip boards they had hold of. The nice nurse escorted me to the small waiting room where my parents were waiting and someone who I hadn't expected to come, Edward…

I gasped with a smile and covered my mouth with my palm as I ran over to my parents hugging them close one by one, my father was more emotional than my mother because he hadn't seen me in a hospital robe and I probably looked incredibly ill to him. I stroked his back to comfort him and kissed his cheek, Charlie was always a big softie inside when it came to me, and I had to admit I was more of a daddy's girl myself.

"I love you, dad!" I whispered in his ear which caused him to hold me tighter,

I smiled and turned my attention to my best friend, Edward, he sat there staring at me with a blank expression. I knew the look well, not sure whether to smile and greet me or hug and apologise to me.

"Hey, Edward!" I smiled as I let my father loose and stood in front of my utterly adorable best friend who let half a smile slide from his lips which made me grin goofily once again.

"My roses still alive?" I asked,

Edward always checked on my roses when I told him that he was the reason that they stayed alive which he thought was ridiculous, of course there must have been a realistic reason to why they stayed alive. He always had to have an explanation for everything extraordinary that happened, but my roses were still a confusing mystery that he was still trying to find out about. I wouldn't be surprised that out of his frustration he stomped on them and blamed the weather or something just to get the explanation.

"They're still alive…, unfortunately…" he smiled playfully which made me frown,

I folded my arms across my chest and shook my head,

"I can't believe that you are frustrated over my roses, Edward, just except the fact that they're alive for me." I smiled and shook my head.

Edward rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement before standing and hugging me close to him which my father didn't quite approve of,

"I hope you're going to be okay, Bella, I really do…"

I gulped and his words and smiled as I nodded,

"Mrs and Mr Swan, Bella?"

I turned my head to see a tall man that I'd never seen before, he had grey hair and glasses, he wore a white doctor's coat and had a clip board in his hands.

"Could you follow me please?"

My mother and father looked at me before standing and waiting for me to take the lead, I turned to Edward and smiled before walking off ahead of my parents and followed the doctor who I learned was a professor. A very highly intelligent man, I smiled that I had a good doctor, perhaps he would be the one congratulating me on my recovery. I just wished they'd hurry up and tell me that I was good to go. We walked into a hospital room that had an x-ray machine that showed pictures on it, they must've been mine although I had no idea what was what in the picture. With a sigh from the professor, I suddenly got butterflies in my belly but no the good kind. Now I knew that congradulations was not on the list of words that he was going to give me.

"Bella, I have gone over your CT scan images and this is them that you see here!" the professor said pointing to the black and white image,

I nodded showing that I understood.

"You see this little white mass here?" he asked as he pointed to a section of the screen,

I nodded

"well, this little mass from your previous scan has turned into this large mass you see here…" he pointed to the second image where there was a big blob of white.

I gulped and felt numb all over, my knees were weak and I felt light headed once again like the blood from my feet that shot up to my brain,

"What I'm trying to say is that the melanoma has spread a lot more that we previously thought it would spread, the cancer you have got is vicious and I'm afraid we will have to attack this with the strongest medication we know possible."

I sighed deeply,

"chemo…" I sighed weakly,

He nodded in agreement,

"Wait a minute, is chemo absolutely necessary?" My father interrupted "Has it spread to other areas of her body?"

My mum gulped and held me close as I leaned my head on her chest.

"The scan did show a little white mass forming in her right lung, we're not sure if that's cancerous or not. It may just be a tumour,"

I felt my knees weaken and my mother steadied me.

"We strongly suggest chemo for this type of cancer, Mr Swan, this is extremely aggressive towards major organs and could get worse within months which would result in a liver transplant which could take years or…" he paused before saying the next word.

I shook my head and began to sob,

"I don't want to die!" I cried as I looked to my mother who held me close and took a shaky breath trying to calm herself down,

The professor looked at me.

"Bella, you will not die if you get chemo therapy, it hopefully will stop the cancer from spreading in your liver and may kill the cells off. I suggest we start today, I just need an answer."

I thought of the possibility of dying, my world had just crashed down, cancer was my life now and I felt like a corpse. I didn't feel emotion, it was almost like a comatose state as I thought of my funeral and my cancer diseased body rotting in the ground. I thought of my roses being scattered over my grave.

"I want the chemo and I want it now!" I said shakily with a nod of my head as I looked at my parents for support,

My mother kissed my forehead and rubbed my arm while my father stayed silent, the tears in his eyes were visible and he stormed out of the room quickly before he broke down in front of me. I understood his pain, this wasn't going to be easy for him.

"I'll escort you down where you will be introduced to a lady named Dr Harrison, she prepares the chemo for you…"

I looked to the professor and tears swelled in my eyes,

"Will I loose my hair?" I struggled to say,

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Everybody's different but I have a strong feeling that yes you will loose you hair with the treatment, but I think that should be the least problem to worry about Miss Swan,"

My jaw began to tremble as I felt the first of many tears fall down my face and I hid my face in my mother's jumper as I sobbed quietly.

"I'll leave you alone for a few moments…" the professor said before exiting the room quietly leaving me devastated and my mother shocked.

How could my journey be ending when my life has barely begun? Why did God choose me, praying really was useless, maybe he didn't care for me. I felt alone in this world. I felt numb…

* * *

The needle stuck into my arm with a pinch and I hissed at the feeling as I watched the doctor adjust the equipment before placing the bag of poisonous chemo on an IV stand and turning a little clip that let the chemo drip like rain drops down the see through tube and into my blue veins that were puffy and swollen from the new liquid that entered my body. I looked at the chemo in fear, this stuff was designed to poison the human body, to kill cells, my human cells but also the cancer that was starting to end my life. I wondered how much weeks, months or years I had left, thinking about dying was the only thought that was in my mind lately. How my parents would cope without me, was there really a God or was reincarnation possible? What would I do without my roses, without my Edward? The thought brought tears to my eyes, I knew I was being utterly pathetic, feeling sorry for myself was not usually the way I handled things but the thought that my short life could be ended painfully scared me beyond belief. I was terrified, as all of these thoughts washed through my mind the chemo began to wash it's way through my body making me feel sick and more light headed than I've ever felt. Mum was holding my hand that didn't have the needle in it while dad was still nowhere to be seen, he obviously couldn't handle seeing me in pain. Edward had joined us too, he had stayed silent as she sat next to me, I didn't want anybody to touch me because my skin felt like it had been shaved off with a razor. It was painful and I could hear myself begin to whimper and rock back and forth as the sickness became overwhelming. My hands were shaking,

"Bucket!" I groaned,

Rene quickly took the blue sick bucket by her feet and handed it to me not a moment too soon as I threw up the contents of my stomach. Chemo sucked, it sucked worse than I thought and it was only the start. I would have to come back again and again until the doctors saw some improvement in my liver. I kept stroking my hair terrified in case any came loose in my fingers but the doctors said I probably wouldn't loose any on my first round of therapy but it was more likely on the second round. I handed the bucket back to my mother when there was nothing more in my stomach to let out but my brain disagreed with me and my gag reflexes continued to work until my throat was so painful that they couldn't do that anymore.

"This is hell!" I choked out angrily as I looked up lazily to my mum when I turned my attention towards a patient in another section of the room.

I looked closely at her as she was also getting chemo, she had long blonde hair that flew like a golden river down her back and her skin was ivory pale like mine. She looked tired and in extreme pain when she noticed me, I smiled apologetically in her direction but she sighed in pain. She looked younger than me, possibly thirteen or fourteen, I guess I wasn't alone in the world after all and she seemed to be in a lot more bother than I was at the moment. She sighed once again before looking in my direction and waving with a soft smile on her gorgeous little face, I nodded.

"What's your name?" she croaked out with a voice that sounded sore,

I smiled,

"Bella Swan, this is my first time in chemo."

She nodded once,

"Same, I'm Rosalie by the way, Rosalie Hale…"

I nodded at the young girl who seemed to be struggling to talk to me so I let her be, I didn't want her to be in more pain by talking to me so I turned my attention to Edward and grabbed his fingers with my clammy hand.

"I need to hold something…" I explained and he nodded understanding my pain, "You don't think that's a sign?" I asked,

Edward frowned in confusion at my question. I rolled my eyes and nudged my head towards the blonde girl,

"I love roses, Edward, her name's Rosalie. Maybe she's a friend sent from heaven so we can experience this together…"

Edward shook his head.

"That's just ridiculous, Bella, there's no God. So what, her name's Rosalie, that doesn't mean a thing!" he shook his head,

I frowned, why couldn't he agree with anything I had to say.

"If there's no God, then there's no hope, if there's no hope then I'll die. I need something to take my mind off things, Edward, can you not agree with something I have to say? I need to know there's a higher power out there who has chosen me for a purpose, I need to know that I'm not going to go in the ground and that's it." I said loudly in an agitated tone. "I need to believe that there are miracles in this world and I could be one of them!"

I felt like crying but I didn't have the strength to, I was so weak that it was unbelievable. I closed my eyes and sighed shakily,

"God if you're out there please help me, I need you…"

If only my prayers could be heard then everything would be okay, but I had a feeling that my prayer was going on silent ears. Cancer was defeating my hopes and my body…


	4. Chapter 4 Worthless

_**If you're going through hell,**_

_**keep going. **_

_**~Winston Churchill~  
**_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 4**

**Worthless**

"Rosalie, how are you feeling darling?"

I sighed weakly as exhaustion devoured me, the aching in each of my legs was barbaric and I felt like sand had been poured down my throat and felt like razors had been pulled down my skin that was covered with goose pimples. With the soothing voice of my mother I struggled to open my eyelids to peer up at her, she smiled apologetically down at me,

"did I wake you, I'm sorry…" she sighed as she stroked my sweaty forehead gently with her cool smooth hand.

I shook my head as a response to her question, I hadn't been sleeping at all, how could I sleep when poison was coursing through my veins eating away cells, it was like bleach had been poured over me and I was powerless to do anything. Cancer really was the worst possible thing to happen to anybody, I wouldn't wish it on anybody…

* * *

My name is Rosalie Lillian Hale, I was diagnosed with chronic leukaemia when I was eight but now I'm thirteen soon to be fourteen. Cancer has been my entire life, the doctors said I could've had it a year or two before my diagnosis which is horrible because now I have regular rounds of chemo therapy to try to wash the bad cells out of my system which isn't working very well.

Mum and dad always try to assure me that I'm fine and that everything's okay, but I'm not as gullible as I used to be, I know that my type of cancer kills lots of people and I may be another victim. Death is something I often think about, it used to scare me but it's became such a common thought that it doesn't bother me or make me flinch in the slightest.

I know it may sound horrible but sometimes I envy the other kids that have died that I'd known as they came in for treatments by my bed, sometimes I wish that I can die to so I won't have to go through the pain anymore. The pain in horrible, I've asked my parents before to kill me quickly by giving me an overdose of pills.

And I've even had suicidal thoughts when in my bed at night. Nobody understands in my family, they think they do but they don't and it makes me angry when they assure me that everything's good. Their positive attitudes about my bleak future had made me stop telling them when I'm in a lot of pain, I don't tell mum when I feel like my stomach's about to burst and I don't tell dad when my heart does fluttering movements that make me catch my breath.

Instead I lie awake at night and cry into my pillow wishing for death, sometimes I try to suffocate myself by holding my breath until I hear my heartbeat in my ears and my lungs feel they're about to pop. But I guess I'm too chicken to go through with the plan. My father's name is Carlisle and my mother is Esme, they're probably the best parents anybody could have, they've been incredibly supportive but I feel like a burden around them like a parasite that won't go away.

They don't deserve a sick child like me. I'm now at stage three leukaemia and I feel weaker as the days pass, the chemo has really worn me out. And since my last round of chemo, my beautiful hair has gone, I'm now waiting for the doctors to say that there is nothing more they can do. I hope the pain stops, I hope I go to heaven…

* * *

I sat on the edge of my bed just staring at myself in the mirror, I looked hideous, I looked absolutely disgusting and I was ashamed of myself. My hair lay loose in my hands, I let it fall to the carpet as I grabbed more clumps of it out of my scalp and watched it come loose.

The bald patches were horrible, how could this happen? As the last of my golden locks fell to the carpet below I looked at my bald head and cried, I cried for hours and hours that night. Soon I was hysterical as I clutched a pillow to my torso as I pulled my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth.

It soon got to the point where I was dehydrated and I couldn't cry anymore tears. There was a knock on my door, I couldn't talk and instead buried my face in my pillow as the door cracked open and I heard the first footsteps.

"Oh, Rosie baby!" mum sighed as she quickly came to my side and clutched me tightly to her chest,

She stroked my bald head lightly and kissed my cheeks about ten times before pulling back to look in my eyes that were puffy and red from the crying.

"I'm ugly!" I cried "And don't tell me I'm not because I know I am!"

Mum sighed shakily as she kissed the tip of my nose,

"We knew your hair was going to fall out, Rose, it was just a matter of when and now's the time. It'll grow back when the chemo stops, this isn't forever…"

I looked up into her eyes and shook my head,

"When the chemo stops?" I frowned in disbelief "The chemo isn't going to stop, mum, it never will until I'm dead which is going to be pretty soon!"

I frowned angrily, I was sick of all this fake enthusiasm that she and my father put on, it was frankly ridiculous as I knew there wasn't going to be a happy ending to this story and everybody else knew there was no happy ending but they just refused to believe it. Was I the only one to have a realistic picture painted in my head of what the outcome of my situation was going to be. It was obvious that I was going to end up in a box and buried by the end of this year.

"You're not going to die, Rosalie, why are you so negative, this is a battle you can win!" she sighed with a desperate tone to her voice,

I felt the anger bubble up inside my body, if that's what you could actually call it, I liked to think of my body as a walking time bomb just waiting to explode or a cancer corpse waiting to drop any second. I was like a wilting rose in winter, I knew I wouldn't survive.

"I'm negative because I've had god knows how many rounds of chemo in the past four years, all my friends from the hospital have dropped dead one after another. I'm in pain constantly, the aching in my joints is at the point where I literally want to saw my legs off and my hair had just fell out of my head. This battle was over before it even began, mum!" I felt my voice crack as the emotions wanted to burst out again,

"You've been in pain and you haven't told me, am I that bad that you won't even tell me when you're hurting, baby?" she asked in a calming voice, "You need pain killers, I'll go and fetch some for you…" she gulped before turning and heading for the door.

I frowned and shook my head,

"I don't want pain killers, mum!" I huffed angrily,

She turned around with a confused look on her face along with teary eyes that showed how much she was hurting from my situation but I couldn't feel sympathy for her now, I needed to get the truth out and it needed to come out now.

"I just want to die…"

Her eyes widened as the words left my lips like a breeze, she was beside me in an instant and she shook her head as she grasped my shoulders gently,

"You can't say that, Rosalie, I never want to hear those words leave your lips again!" she said firmly as a flash of anger found her eyes.

I was about to interrupt but she placed her index finger over my lips,

"No!" she frowned "if any words are going to come out of your mouth they're going to be mum, I need painkillers or mum can you spend some time with me or the best one of all, mum I'm going to beat this thing and survive like millions of other miracles!"

I listened to her words carefully, tears were filling her eyes as her jaw began to tremble,

"I love you baby, I know you will survive and I will not watch you give up on yourself. Understand?"

I nodded slowly and she sighed before wrapping her arms around my bony frame,

"You're a fighter, Rose…, and you're a winner too!"

After those words she whispered to me I felt a rush of emotion pull towards my stomach and I bit my bottom lip as my eyes closed to trap the tears that wanted to escape badly.

I wasn't confident that I was going to win this cancer struggle but she was obviously determined and damn sure that I was going to live through it. I still thought I was a lost cause but she had hope, that same hope I had lost over four years ago when the first of many friends fell to their doom.

"Now I'm getting you painkillers and I'm bringing you some hot chocolate and you're going to lay back in your bed and watch a movie with me, alright?"

I nodded and smiled as she sighed before escaping my room and walking down the spiral staircase. I looked at myself in the mirror again which felt like a punch to the face and a kick to the gut, I was disgusting to look at.

"Ugly freak!" I spat at myself before crawling under my bed covers and resting my head on the soft pillow soon drifting off into a dreamless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5 An Angel Named Jasper

**_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!_**

**_

* * *

_**

**_T_****_urn your face to the sun _**

**_and the shadows _**

**_fall behind you. _**

**_ ~Maori Proverb~_**

**_

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**_Chapter 5_**

**_An Angel Named Jasper_**

I sat in the waiting room swinging my legs slowly with my hands clasped together as people walked by me, I was a nervous wreck in case anybody stared at me funny or laughed or muttered something under their breath that was insulting and hurtful.

Mum was talking with the lady behind the pharmacist desk about the painkillers I needed for my kidneys that weren't working properly and I needed new medicine for the big purple bruises that decided to pop up on my back last night. And on top of all that I was wearing a very itchy, obviously fake looking wig that was auburn colour, my eyebrows decided to fall out on their own when I was sleeping so I looked like an alien or some sort of creature that crawled its way out of a sewer

. I wasn't really for the humiliation of being bald in front of the public, I didn't want to be mocked behind my back. I had another round of chemo therapy coming up and I wasn't looking forward to it in the slightest, more needles, more stress, more pain...

"Rosalie, we're going now, come on!" my mother, Esme, smiled as she stood with the bags of pills in her hands,

I sighed and nodded as I stood to my feet and walked towards her. The pain in my back was still throbbing, the doctors said my kidney's were swollen and I needed to rest as much as I possibly could but laying down just wasn't an option for me. I always had to do something to keep me occupied and that meant baking cakes with mum, watching dad go over his paperwork and ask him questions or draw eyebrows on my face with my eye liner which my twin brother, Jasper thought was hilarious.

I guess I had become less depressed as I thought of ways to look funny or make a joke out of my disease. Jasper kept me occupied sometimes with his funny jokes or prank calls to his friends which was always hilarious as he could keep a straight face on whenever he did it.

But then he was annoying at other times, he hurt my feelings a lot if we were in arguments by calling me egg head or bald girl. I retaliated by saying that I would die soon so he wouldn't have to worry about my ugliness bothering him, whenever I mentioned the dying thing he always apologized and tried to make me happy.

Jasper was a typical boy, loved making fun of everyone even his dying sister but I couldn't stay angry at him because he had grown up so much when he learned I had this disease. Jasper was my guardian angel.

"Are you in pain, sweetheart?" mum asked as she turned to me,

I had promised mum I would never lie to her again whenever I felt pain, she was constantly worrying about me so I actually felt bad when she thought I was okay when I was lying.

"My kidneys are really sore, they feel like hearts now. Like they're beating to their own rhythm!" I explained my situation the best I could ans of course mum panicked and decided we needed to see a doctor immediately.

I didn't think it was a big deal and thought she was acting crazy over nothing, we had already been to see the doctor the day before who explained this was a side effect after the chemo and my kidneys weren't dealing with it very well but if I rested then they would heal enough for the next round.

"Mum, I'm not going to see another doctor and that's final!" I huffed as I stomped my foot on the ground,

she turned to look at me and shrugged her shoulders as her eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Dr Harvey said that this would happen, remember?" I asked calmly as I cocked an eyebrow.

She nodded in agreement before letting out a deep sigh and smiling gently towards me again,

"I need to get you home, Rose, you need to get some rest. I'll call dad to come and get us!" she nodded as she hugged me gently against her.

It was almost as if she thought I was a porcelain doll that was easily broken and she didn't want to hold me too hard in case she shattered me, mum was constantly terrified for me which just made me nervous all the time. I was afraid in case she had a mental breakdown or have a heart attack in her sleep while having a nightmare about me, nightmares were a common thing for mum which stressed her out to the maximum.

I heard her sometimes, calling my name out in her sleep with worry only to be waken up by my father to calm her down. And it wasn't just the stress of nightmares that bothered me but it was also the fact that mum favourited me over Jasper, that annoyed me beyond belief.

Jasper got very little attention from mum and he was the one who helped her cook meals for me, he cleaned both his bedroom and mine when I was able to do it myself. He went to the store for essentials, he did his homework on time, he got full marks on most of his subjects which was brilliant.

Jasper did everything and got nothing in return, I hated seeing the look of defeat and worthlessness on his face when he showed mum his full mark tests and she shoved him out of the way to get to me. Jasper deserved a lot more love and care than mum was giving him, I thanked him almost all the time for the things he did for me but he always gave me the same answer "don't worry about it, Rose, I like helping you!"

Thinking of that sentence brought tears to my eyes and caused my jaw to tremble, I loved my brother so much and he loved my mother so much but she just didn't pay attention to him.

"Sweetheart, is something on your mind?" mum asked as we sat in the back seats of dad's car,

I sighed and nodded, maybe now was the perfect time to bring up the unfair favouritism that my brother had suffered from.

"Jasper, I'm thinking about Jasper..." I nodded as I turned to mum who frowned in confusion,

she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head,

"what about him?"

That question made me want to scream out at her. What about him? I thought angrily,

"Do you even realise how good a kid he is?" I asked angrily, I frowned at her as she looked confused of what I was trying to get out.

She nodded in response,

"Of course, he's a pretty good kid but let's talk about you, Rose we-" I cut her off, I wasn't going to listen to anymore of this.

"No!" I shouted, "We won't talk about me because we're talking about Jasper, remember him, mum?"

My father, Carlisle looked at me in the rear view mirror but didn't say anything and instead listened to what I had to say.

"Do you even remember that Jasper's your child too?" I frowned "That boy has been bending over backwards trying to please you and you ignore him. He shows you his full mark test papers and you throw them back in his face without even reading them, he cooks and cleans and you don't thank him and I see the pain in his face when you shut him out!" I frowned angrily as tears flew down my cheeks.

Mum covered her mouth with her hand as tears trickled down her cheeks as she heard the truth coming out of my mouth, but I needed to see the pain so I could get through to her.

She couldn't just live her life thinking about me constantly, Jasper needed some of her time too, Jasper needed his mother when he was feeling sad or sick or when he was worried about something. But he was just an invisible person to her, dad was the only one who actually communicated with him but he was always at work so there was little time for Jasper.

When he was lonely he shut himself in his room and studied more for tests, that wasn't normal, and when he was feeling sad he kept his feelings to himself. I was Jasper's only friend that he could talk to, he spent all day with me talking about his feelings but then he would change the subject back to me again "enough about me, Rose, how are you feeling?" My brother afraid to drop his miserable feelings on me in case I was effected, that broke my heart into pieces.

"When Jasper gets home from school today, you're actually going to be a mother to him!" I nodded as I refused to look her in the eyes and instead looked out the window.

I gulped as I heard her take a shaky breath, finally, she knew the truth and hopefully she would learn from her mistakes to actually take responsibility of the situation.

I sat at the dining room table with a fork in my hand as I watched my mother interact with my brother, Jasper, she read his school reports which were brilliant and smiled with diebelief at his incredible test results. I saw the look of delight on my brother's face as she told him how proud she was of him, I felt like crying. I hadn't seen that twinkle in his eye with her for a very long time, it was a magical moment to watch.

He looked towards me with a grin and I smiled towards him sticking my thumb up and he did the same before turning to mum again and enjoying her company. I smiled as I shoved a fork full of spaghetti in my mouth, it was my favourite meal that Jasper specialised in. He had told me his dreams of becoming a celebrity chef one day and I had promised that I would live long enough to see him become what he wanted to be but I knew that promise was probably not going to happen.

My kidneys were in the most painful way at the moment and my lungs had began to have jabbing pains in them, I felt constantly tired and weak. My body was giving up and my faith in living had just begun. Was this battle truly over for me, I was now at the point where I wanted to live, I wanted to survive and not give up. My faith was strong, the strongest it had been but my body at its weakest. Only time would tell if there was a chance or miracle that my life wouldn't end. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


	6. Chapter 6 New Friendships

_**Feed your faith **_

_**and your fears **_

_**will starve**_

_** to death. **_

_**~Author Unknown~**_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**New Friendships**_

"Okay, Rosalie, this is going to hurt a little bit,"

I sighed and rolled my eyes at the inexperienced nurse, she was obviously new as she had no clue of what pain actually was. A little metal needle pushing its way through my vein was not as painful as the clear poisonous liquid that made its way through my body. The pain in my kidneys had not died down an ounce, they still throbbed in my back like hearts but the doctors agreed that there was no time to wait another week or so for the swelling to die down, I needed the chemo therapy today.

I felt the sharp pinch in my wrist as the tin needle made its way through my tender skin, I inhaled deeply then diverted my attention across the room to where Bella Swan, the other cancer patient was. She lay on a hospital bed with her mother sitting next to her, she looked exhausted as the chemo ran its course through her weak body.

Bella was beautiful, she had large chocolate brown eyes and thick dark hair that stopped just above her waist, I wouldn't lie. I was jealous, I was so envious of her hair that it brought tears to my eyes. Why did she have hair and I didn't? I didn't wear a wig in the hospital, my ugly bald head was exposed just like the other cancer patients that were on the edge of death.

But I knew that there would be nothing to envy soon, Bella's hair would fall out too at the amount of chemo therapy she was getting. I was so caught up in my own world that I hadn't noticed her staring at me with wide eyes that were full of sadness and shock, was she as disgusted at my baldness as everyone else secretly was?

I couldn't blame her for feeling sick just by looking at me, I was pretty awful looking, the amount of chemo that had run through my body probably had me looking like a living corpse. I was surprised when she climbed out of her bed after the nurse had removed the tangled tubes and needles from her body, I watched suspiciously as she held onto the bed frame for support. Her mother looked up from the magazine she was reading and looked quite worried as her daughter shuffled her feet closer to my bed.

"Hi..." Bella said breathlessly, the journey of only ten steps had her body shaking,

I raised my hands quickly and grabbed her forearms helping her into the bed beside me.

"Are you crazy?" I gasped as she leaned her head on my shoulder "You should be resting,"

I heard her giggle and cough before she found enough energy to pull herself up to look at me, she sighed and shrugged her shoulders,

"I'm tired of resting, I want to have some fun before I die!" she rolled those chocolate eyes and shook her head slowly.

I kind of got angry at the way she joked about dying, it offended me as I knew that she wasn't near death's door while I was,

"You're not going to die, Bella, I however am!" I frowned as I folded my arms forgetting that the needle was in my skin,

as it pinched my skin further I let out a little yelp which made Bella laugh.

"That's not funny!" I complained as I stroked my bruised arm, "Stop laughing!"

She grabbed my arm gently and pulled it so she could get a closer look at my needle,

"It's not so bad..." she sighed before running her thumb over the little bruise that had formed.

I frowned at the girl, she was a few years older than me but her cancer hadn't spread like mine,

"I remember you had hair the last time I saw you, it was a little bit of a shock when I saw you bald. I guess that's going to happen to me too, huh?" she asked as she scrunched her face up.

I nodded reluctantly, I remembered when my hair fell out all over the place, only a few weeks ago which was a painful experience. I actually felt sorry for Bella, she still had to go through that and I knew it would be hard on her.

"Well when my hair falls out we'll be a pair of eggs!" she laughed as she stroked my bare head softly,

I slapped her hand away defensively, why was she so happy? I didn't get how a person could be so hopeful and so cheery, I was probably like that once when my cancer first started but I gave up hope when my hair went.

"Rosalie, are you going to be okay, I mean have you a big chance of surviving?" Bella asked curiously,

I didn't want to tell Bella that part, I didn't want to tell her that my survival rate was under ten per cent. She was a hopeful patient, hope is the part that makes you fight against the disease,

"Yes, of course, I have sixty per cent survival rate!" I lied as best as I could.

But somehow she wasn't convinced, she cocked an eyebrow as I looked at her silently,

"Liar..." she sighed "It's not good is it?" she whispered.

I sighed and shook my head before gulping hard, the truth was hard to understand even now as I am in my fifth year of treatment.

"How long have you been given?"

I looked at Bella who looked genuinely worried,

"I haven't been given a date yet but my chance of surviving another year is very short. I don't want to say it out loud but the percentage I've been given is scarily low..."

Bella bit her bottom lip and shook her head,

"I've got an eighty five per cent chance of survival, I never thought I was the lucky one but apparently I am..." she shook her head.

I smiled and leaned my head against her shoulder, she wrapped an arm around me gently being careful not to hurt me in any way,

"How old are you?" I asked curiously.

Bella smiled,

"Soon to be seventeen, you?"

I sighed,

"Soon to be fourteen, same with my twin brother, Jasper..."

Bella gasped,

"You have a twin?"

I laughed and frowned,

"It's that magical to you?" I asked "It's nothing that special to be honest, it's just like arguing with your reflection in the mirror. Pretty annoying really!"

Bella laughed as she shook her head,

"Do you have any brothers or sisters, or are you an only lonely child?"

Bella frowned.

"Yes I'm an only child but I'm not lonely, I have friends!" she argued "And my mum just bought me a puppy!"

I groaned,

"I hate dogs!"

Bella frowned,

"Weirdo, no one hates dogs except for weird people so you must be a weirdo cat person!"

I shook my head,

"No, I hate cats too, I'm not really an animal person..."

Bella shrugged her shoulders,

"Like I said, weirdo!"

I shook my head and pointed at her,

"Weirdo with a beardo..." I corrected.

Bella burst into laughter at my little nick name for myself, I laughed along with her until I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest that made me gasp out for air. Bella grabbed my shoulders,

"Are you okay?" she asked seriously,

I nodded as I controlled my breathing,

"I'm fine, Bella."

She looked at me for any signs that I was in pain,

"You don't need your doctor?" she asked in worry,

I shook my head and gulped back bile that had risen in my throat along with the taste of blood that had risen from my lungs.

"I'm fine, I promise, I'm okay..." I nodded through a crackly voice,

Bella stroked my shoulder gently before standing from my bed.

"Well, it's time for me to go home, Rosalie, but I hope we see each other again, and don't give up on hope, I know you'll make it baldy..." she smiled before heading towards her mother.

I smiled and sighed as I slowly rested myself down onto the bed and tried to sleep with the constant worry in my mind that I was going to drown on my own blood. Maybe now was the right time to start believing in miracles, maybe now was the right time to have faith in God.


	7. Chapter 7 Happy Days

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, they really are appreciated!**

**_You gain strength,_**

**_ courage and confidence _**

**_by every experience in_**

**_ which you really stop_**

**_ to look fear in the face._**

**~Eleanor Roosevelt~**

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**Chapter 7**

**Happy Days **

I sat on my bed with Edward just looking through some photo albums from the past, mainly my baby pictures where my mother had dressed me in big puffy dresses that were completely tasteless. I frowned at one picture where she had put an emerald green bow around my bald head with a matching emerald dress with pink spots, in the picture I was crying which was of course understandable, I had never really liked the idea of being dressed like a doll or any of the disney princesses. I was the weird kid in class that wanted to be Peter Pan instead of Wendy or Tinker Bell, I wanted to be Aladdin where as the others wanted to be Jasmine.

"Normally I would be nice in situations like this but I need to tell you that you were a really dorky looking kid when you were little," Edward laughed as he pointed to one picture in particular that made my cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

The picture was of me when I was four years old on a vacation to Rome in Italy with my parents, they had dressed me in green and purple leggings with a bright orange t-shirt with a picture of Simba from the Lion King on the front with juice and chocolate stains all over it. Not only was that bad but that was the time when my mother decided that she was a good hairdresser and gave me a bowl cut that made the giant round glasses that I had on look even worse. And I had sun burn from hell to match along with a gap between my teeth and snot running down my nose. Why on earth did they take that picture? To deliberately humiliate me when I got to this stage in my life? Parents could be so disgustingly cruel sometimes.

"I was a freak, but so what, were you little Mr perfect when you were four, I don't think so!" I frowned playfully as I grabbed the photo and hid it under a pile of others,

Edward laughed,

"I still am Mr Perfect actually, if you must know..." he waggled his eyebrows jokingly.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head,

"James Bond is so not your style so just stop..." I laughed.

He sighed and shrugged his shoulders as we looked through more photographs, some were of my mum and dad holding me for the very first time and others were of me having temper tantrums over them taking sly photos of me. We were silent for a long moment which was quite unusual and awkward at the same time, normally we would be arguing over something or making fun of some actor or model but it was quiet.

"Bella?" Edward broke the silence making me comfortable again, I didn't like when the silence took over, it made my heart accelerate in the wrong way.

I raised my head in question as he looked at me both seriously and curiously,

"Are you okay?" he asked softly with a genuine worried look upon his gorgeous features,

I frowned with confusion at his question.

"What do you mean?" I asked "I'm fine, doofus!" I grinned

he didn't give me the reaction I had expected from my little joke insult, he was still looking at me as if I had a problem,

"That's not what I meant." He said blankly as he shook his head, his eyes still upon me making the nerves in my stomach build up,

I shrugged my shoulders in response,

"What do you mean then because I don't have a clue what you're talking about."

Edward gulped and scratched his forehead before continuing,

"Are you dying?" he asked in a low voice filled with nerves and worry,

that last word that left his mouth was like a kick to the gut for me. It was like someone had slapped or punched me so hard that I wanted to be sick, had he really just asked me that question?

"No!" I frowned angrily, "Why would you even say that?" I asked furiously as I threw the photographs down onto my bed scattering them all over my sheets.

Edward gulped and reached towards me, I felt his fingers brush against my cheek and find themselves in my hair, he pulled his hand away and took with it a lock of my long dark hair. I suddenly went numb, loss of feeling in all of my limbs and my heart felt like it had been frozen,

"No!" I gasped as I looked at the piece of hair he had in the soft palm of his right hand.

Edward shook his head and gripped my shoulders lightly, he pulled me into a tight embrace and kissed my cheek,

"It's okay..." he whispered to me.

I felt the tears stream down my face to the point where all of my vision was gone, everything was blurred from the liquid that felt like fire in my eyeballs.

"No!" I repeated with a shaky tone and then the first sob escaped past my lips as my heart sank with defeat,

my hair, my beautiful hair was falling out and I couldn't stop it from happening.

"Just because your hair has fallen out doesn't mean you're not making progress, do you understand me?" Edward asked,

I felt like a failure, I felt as if cancer had won but Edward kept arguing with my thoughts of defeat as he held me. His arms wrapped around my waist and his cheek pressed against mine seemed to calm me down as my sobs subsided to sniffles, then Rosalie popped into my mind. Rosalie was worse off than me, she had lost her hair and still was fighting like a true champion and I had the nerve to sit here and give up on all hope? I couldn't do that, my mind told me to stop and just accept death but my heart told me to keep fighting, if Rosalie could do it then I could do it too. I pulled away from Edward's supportive embrace although he was reluctant to let me go, I stood to my feet and took a shaky breath before storming into my bathroom and facing myself in the mirror with confidence.

"You will not give up on yourself, Bella Swan, Rosalie Hale is ten times as worse as you are and she is still fighting a battle that she can win, and you are going to do the exact same thing!" I said to myself through clenched teeth as I grabbed the comb from the bathroom shelf.

Edward stood by the door looking at me with sympathy, I closed my eyes and sighed before running the comb through my lovely hair pulling the locks away and letting them fall to the floor. Soon I was bald, my gorgeous hair gone, I wanted to cry but surprised myself when a laugh escaped my lips.

"What's funny?" Edward asked with a frown,

I shook my head and ran my hands over the smooth skin of my scalp,

"I'm guessing I look ten times as worse as I did in that damn photograph!" I laughed.

Edward joined in on my laughter and soon we were hysterical to when my parents ran upstairs to see what the commotion was. As soon as my mother saw me she broke down in flood of tears, my father gulped trying to hide his emotions but he had to turn and look away from me, I sighed as I stepped towards her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Oh mum, I'm okay, just because my hair is gone doesn't mean my hope has, I'm still strong and I'm still fighting like hell so don't cry..." I supported her by patting her on the shoulder and kissing her cheek.

She looked at me, the tears still flowing down her cheeks as her pain filled eyes took in the sight of my bald head,

"Am I that damn ugly that I make you cry?" I smiled jokingly,

Edward burst into laughter slapping his hand over his mouth immediately ashamed of his actions, it was silent for a moment and then mum began to laugh too. She laughed hard as she ran her hands over my head gently,

"Do I look like a boiled egg, god I hope not!" I frowned.

Mum smiled as she laughed along with Edward, I grinned as I joked about the situation, my life had been wasted on too much pain, guilt, anger and sorrow. I needed a little bit of humour once in a while, we all did.

Dad turned to look at me, I smiled at him, he still wasn't laughing so I had to think of something that would really get him rolling.

"Hey dad, if I drew a beard and moustache on my face, do you think I'd make a pretty damn handsome version of Bruce Willis?" I asked as I cocked an eyebrow,

mum and Edward were practically in tears from laughing when dad let out a little chuckle as he stepped forward and kissed my head.

Being bald wasn't as bad I thought it would be, I still felt the pain of loosing my hair in the pit of my stomach but I wasn't crying for once which was a good sign. Thoughts of Rosalie's battle against cancer had really given me the strength to fight for survival, a smile found my lips as I thought of her bravery. For some strange reason I was actually looking forward to my next round of chemo therapy so I could see her again, she was an angel.


	8. Chapter 8 Violet Eyes

**_Thanks for the wonderful reviews once again!_**

**_Wherever you go,_**

**_no matter what the weather, _**

**_always bring your own sunshine._**

**~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book~**

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**Chapter 8**

**Violet Eyes **

Today was like any other, packing my bags with the help of Edward my best friend and secretly my prince in charming but he had no clue. He grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom along with the new perfume that I wanted to wear, while I packed a few clothing items just for spares in case I happened to be sick all over myself or if I have a nose bleed while I was sleeping then I would be able to change.

Chemo normally wasn't something to look forward to, at all, but I didn't have a smile on my face for the treatment. Rosalie would be there today in the bed across the room from me which got me excited as I hadn't seen her in a few days. She brightened my day up a little when I had the poison running through my weak veins, Edward notcied my change in mood and was quite suspicious of what exactly I was up to.

I sighed before grabbing one final thing, the teddy bear that my father had bought for me when I was a baby. A smile always appeared on his gloomy face whenever he saw me clutching the old torn bear like a small child terrified of the dentist when the chemo rushed through me like needles on tender flesh. Charlie always tried to keep his emotions hidden away from me, that's the way he thought he should be, he liked to be all macho and stuff.

I was guessing that it was the whole man deal, if you're a man then you're not supposed to cry, apparently. I didn't see anything wrong with men crying personally, if you need to cry then just let it out but that of course wasn't the case with dad, he was chief of police and a stubborn old man.

"You're happy about something and i'm pretty sure it's not about chemo unless you're some weird pain enjoying freak which I'm guessing you're not," Edward broke through my thoughts with his voice that melted my heart, he probably had no idea that he was my biggest crush in the world.

That very thought caused my cheeks to burn red with embarrassment, I was a failure at everything that involved gorgeous boys.

"Yeah chemo is the most wonderful feeling in the world, you should try letting bleach run down your skin that'll give you a similar feeling!" I rolled my eyes sarcastically,

Edward smiled and handed me the supplies he had brought in from the bathroom,

"Come on, what's on that mind of your today, candy floss or has your dad promised to get you that convertible that you've always been dreaming about?" he asked curiously.

I laughed and zipped the bags up that I had packed and turned to look at Edward, I smiled at him and he was making eye contact instead of staring at my bald head which was what everybody else did making me feel less of a person and more of an alien.

"My dad would never ever buy me a convertible, he's too much of a worrier to let me go driving around in a car, you know how clumsy I can be and so does he, trust me!"

Edward laughed and approached me in wonder of what I had to say next,

"Truth is, i'm looking forward to seeing Rosalie today, she's the beautiful girl who shares the ward with me. And I know it may sound crazy to you but I can't wait till she sees that i'm an egg head too!" I smiled in a rush of words trying tot to laugh at how ridiculous I sounded.

Edward cocked an eyebrow at me with surprise, that was obviously something he hadn't been expecting to hear which made him laugh like a baby being tickled. I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I joined in,

"you're looking forward to showing someone you're bald head like it's an accomplishment or something. Not meaning to sound rude or something but you are the strangest girl i've ever met."

I smiled softly,

"And that's what makes you so special to me." Edward finished with a soft voice that was caring and gentle.

I felt tears burn in my eyes at his little statement, a strange feeling hit the pit of my stomach and I was sure that it was love but I couldn't know because I had never felt love before. I gulped and blinked a few times trying to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks without lifting my hands to wipe them away.

"You think i'm special?" I asked "Because I see myself as a diseased plant that can't function properly,"

Edward frowned and sighed as he ran his fingers along my cheek, I gulped and looked up into his eyes.

"You're a diseased plant that is going to heal with time with the help of the sun..."

I nodded and leaned my forehead against his chest,

"You are my sun, Edward, and you have no idea how brightly you shine in my life."

He kissed my forehead and embraced me tightly, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him but the thought of rejection still lingered in the back of my mind so I just stood silent enjoying the moment.

"Bella, I think we should go now, you'll be late for your appointment..." Edward whispered before removing his arms from me and grabbing my packed bags.

I smiled and opened my bedroom door walking out into the hall with Edward by my side, with my bags in one of his hands he grabbed my hand gently with the other,

"do you mind?" he asked gently.

I shook my head feeling my cheeks burn red again while made him smile, we headed down the staircase together to greet Rene and Charlie who were having breakfast and reading different newspapers.

"Looks like the newspapers are doing the whole Angelina Jolie against Jennifer Anniston thing, personally I'm team Jennifer!" Rene said,

I cocked an eyebrow at her as she raised her head to look at me and Edward with a smile,

"Well, i'm sorry to tell you but i'm team Angelina," I nodded as I looked up at Edward.

Mum rolled her eyes while dad laughed,

"Angelina does it for me!" he announced as he stretched his arms up in the air,

mum gave him a sharp look,

"What exactly does that mean?" she snapped angrily.

Dad raised his hands up pleading his innocence as Edward and I looked at each other,

"Well, i'm team Brad, I mean he was lucky enough to get both of them..." Edward nodded as he smiled down at me.

I laughed,

"kid's got a point!" Charlie smiled at mum who was clearly unimpressed.

She finished off her cup of coffee and folded her newspaper up into a neat square, she stood up and kissed me gently,

"Well, let's go to the hospital then!" she announced clapping her hands together for dad to get up off of his butt.

He rolled his eyes and got up putting his cup of coffee into the dishwasher along with mum's and then he walked to the front door, Edward and I followed him out to the car while mum kissed our dog Lulu goodbye.

"Do you ever get the feeling that my parents are from another planet?" I whispered to Edward who laughed and kissed my cheek.

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We arrived at the chemo ward where I had all of my treatments, the nurses were busy talking about getting massages after work which got on mum's nerves a little. I walked into the ward and saw Rosalie, I smiled immediately and ran towards her,

"Hey, look at me!" I laughed and she raised her head and gasped in horror.

I was surprised at her sudden reaction,

"You've lost your hair..." she said in an upset tone as she stroked my head gently.

I nodded but shrugged it off,

"So we're the same now, Rosalie, we can be boiled eggs together as we get chemo today!" I smiled,

she gulped and shook her slowly as a tear ran down her cheek, I frowned in confusion and turned to see a boy sitting by her side holding her hand.

"You're her twin brother?" I asked as I frowned at Rosalie's tears,

he nodded and tickled her hand gently,

"Why is she crying, is it about my hair because I don't care, honest, Rose!" I nodded.

She shook her head in response and grabbed my hand gently and pulled it to her face to kiss it,

"Bella, i'm not getting chemo today..."

I frowned,

"Wait, what?" I asked in surprise.

She looked at her brother who smiled at her gently, I remembered his name was Jasper from the stories that Rose had told about him,

"But you're in her, so if you're not getting chemo then why are you here?" I asked in confusion, something felt really wrong.

Rosalie smiled at me,

"I'm waiting for the surgeon to come and get me..." she answered,

my eyes widened at the word surgeon.

"You're getting operated on?" I asked in absolute horror,

she nodded,

"The cancer's spread to my brain, so they're going in to see if they can remove some of the tumours they found in the CAT scan, if they can then everything will be okay but if they can't then my chemo therapy has to be raised and I'll have to come here at least two days out of a week."

I took all of this information in, I couldn't believe this, cancer has to be extremely bad for an operation to be taken place.

"Rosalie, I don't know what to say, I'm speechless," I whispered softly,

Jasper stood up and kissed Rosalie's cheek,

"do you need any water, I can go and get some for you, or I get get you food or something if you'd like?" he asked as he stroked her head gently.

I saw the genuine worry and fear that lingered in his violet coloured eyes that were exactly like Rosalie's, his love for his sister was extremely strong and I felt tears sparkle in my eyes at his concern.

"No, Jasper i'm fine, but if you need some fresh air or a drink yourself then you can go because i've got Bella here to talk to," Rosalie smiled to her twin who nodded as he looked over to me with a smile.

I nodded as he let go of Rosalie's hand and walked off out of the ward, Rosalie watched him leave then turned her attention to Edward who was sitting on my bed on the other side of the room looking quite left out. Mum and dad weren't around, they'd probably sneaked off to the cafeteria as Rose and I began talking,

"Is that your boyfriend?" Rosalie smiled,

I turned to look at Edward and smiled signalling for him to come over to join us.

"No!" I hissed in a whisper "He's my best friend..."

Rosalie nodded with a cheeky grin,

"I beg to differ, young lady," Rosalie winked to me "He's cute!"

I frowned at her, when she said he was cute with that twinkle that lingered in her gorgeous eyes, it made me jealous which of course was a sign that I did have strong feelings for Edward.

"Shut up, don't say anything to him!" I quickly rushed out as Edward sat down in Jasper's chair on the opposite side of Rosalie's bed.

She smiled at him for a long time and I had the urge to pinch the IV in her arm to distract her but that of course would be too painful and utterly cruel so instead I just flicked her ear.

"Ouch!" she yelled as she turned to look at me with a frown "Evil!" she spat as she rubbed her tender ear,

I giggled and smiled at Edward, his eyes were focused on me when he turned to look at Rosalie,

"I happen to have a boyfriend, Bella!" Rosalie frowned,

my eyes widened with suspicion, somehow I doubted she was telling the truth,

"I don't believe you!" I shook my head and folded my arms.

Her eyes frowned and she was silent for a long moment just looking at me, suddenly I had realised that i'd hurt her by saying that I didn't believe her. Perhaps she thought I said that because she had cancer and that a boy wouldn't date her which is completely the opposite of what I meant by it,

"It's because i'm ugly that you think a boy wouldn't touch me, isn't it?" Rosalie asked with a shaky voice as her lip began to tremble.

I knew it, my eyebrows arched and I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach as I saw the pain on her face.

"No, I didn't mean it like that Rose!" I gasped "And by the way you're not ugly, you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen and that's the truth so don't ever think that you're ugly!" I explained as I leaned in and wrapped my arms around her slender frame.

She returned my hug and smiled softly as I pulled away from her to look at her face,

"And I do have a boyfriend, his name's Emmett but he can't be here today because he's got a football match that he needs to be at or his father will kill him." Rose explained,

I was happy for her, she smiled and the sparkle in her eyes returned when she talked about Emmett,

"Is he good looking?" I asked with a cheeky grin which made Edward frown.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and nodded,

"Of course he is, Emmett is the most gorgeous boy ever and he's three years older than me which my father hates but my mother thinks it's adorable!" she smiled.

I gasped, if I were to bring a boy three years older than me back home then I was pretty sure that Charlie would blow his brains out with that gun he carries around.

"How old are you?" I asked curiously as she smiled at me,

Rosalie laughed,

"fourteen, Emmett's seventeen!" she explained.

I rolled my eyes and nodded,

"I can count thank you very much, Rosalie Hale!" I shook my head,

she smiled and turned to Edward who had kept silent just listening to our girl talk which i'm sure he was utterly bored of. But he had to deal with it.

"Are you mute or something?" Rosalie asked shaking her head,

Edward frowned while I slapped her arm lightly,

"Stop being rude!"

Rosalie raised her hands in innocence as her jaw dropped,

"No, i'm not mute, I just don't like joining in on silly little girl talk about how cute your jackass of a boyfriend is!" Edward snapped in an angry tone which caught me completely by surprise.

Rosalie looked at Edward in shock as did I,

"Edward, what was that about?" I demanded to know as I frowned at him angrily,

Rosalie gulped as Edward kept eye contact with her,

"I bet you have no idea that Emmett gets very friendly with the cheerleaders that cheer for him, do you?" Edward asked in a calmer tone as his eyebrows arched towards her.

Rosalie gulped and turned to me for support, I could see the tears build in her eyes, I felt the kicking feeling in my gut again, Rose was already like a baby sister to me and it killed me inside to see her hurt badly.

"Edward, Rosalie does not need to know that just before she is about to have major surgery!" I spat,

he looked at me surprised to see the anger in my eyes as I spoke to him,

he shook his head and gently took hold of Rosalie's hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that to you, it was just a thought that burst out. I just heard rumours around high school that involved your boyfriend..." Edward explained,

I watched as Rosalie broke down and grabbed her hand back away from Edward.

"You don't know anything about Emmett, he's not like that any more, I heard those rumours before too but he promised to stand by me no matter what and I trust him. So don't bother telling me crap if you don't know the truth!" Rosalie spat.

Edward gulped and looked at me with apology in his eyes, I could see that he was sorry and I knew he understood that he was in the wrong but Rosalie was worrying about her boyfriend now and she was about to get brain surgery.

"Rosalie it's okay, don't worry about it..." I smiled as she looked at me,

suddenly we heard a patter of footsteps and turned to see a bunch of doctors coming our way, I felt nerves in my stomach but had no idea of how Rosalie must have been feeling.

"Rosalie, we're ready for your surgery now, are your parents around anywhere?" The head surgeon spoke gently as he smiled down at her,

she gulped and nodded.

"They're at the cafeteria..." she explained when I noticed Jasper walking back to her bed,

he looked as pale as a ghost as he saw the doctors talking to his sister.

"Is everything okay?" he asked as he took hold of her hand for support,

the doctors nodded,

"Rosalie's surgery is to be performed right now, would you like to accompany us to the theatre where you can say goodbye for the time being?" the doctor asked.

Jasper nodded as he helped Rosalie to her feet, I watched nervously as she looked at me with a smile,

"Let's go then!" the doctor smiled as he helped Rosalie to walk away,

I watched as she took a final look at me, her beautiful violet eyes piercing yet soft,

"I'll see you in a few hours?" she asked.

I nodded and waved goodbye as she disappeared from my sight, I sighed as I felt weak and nervous,

"Bella," I turned to see a nurse standing behind me,

I nodded,

"You're chemo is ready now!"

I sighed and looked at Edward, he smiled and stood to his feet as she walked towards me taking my hand and helping me to my bed.

"I have something to tell you..." Edward whispered into my ear gently,

I nodded,

"I love you."


	9. Chapter 9 Annoying Yet Adorable

Thanks Once Again for all of the lovely reviews, they are very appreciated and make this story worth writing!

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,

but it will annoy enough people

to make it worth the effort.

**_~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995~_  
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**Jasper's POV (Point of View)**

**Chapter 9**

**Annoying Yet Adorable**

She lay there frightened half to death as she held onto my hand for dear life, my twin sister, Rosalie. Her cancer was bad, I guess that was kind of an understatement, her cancer was horrendous from the looks of her CAT scans. I sighed as I stroked her hand gently trying to comfort her in the best way that a brother could but even that felt insignificant as her bottom lip began to tremble,

"Hey..." I whispered softly as I brushed a finger over her cheek wiping away the fresh tear that had fallen from her violet eyes that matched mine perfectly.

She sniffled back her tears and took in a deep breath as her concentration never left me,

"Don't be scared, Rosie, you'll go to sleep and then you'll wake up like you hand only been asleep for seconds." I spoke to her as she nodded at my words like her life depended on them,

mum and dad weren't even here to support her, I felt furious inside but the moment I looked into my sister's eyes, the anger washed away. Rosalie and I had always had a special bond, she was my heart and I was her backbone, that's the way our relationship built itself up into the strong sibling bond that was impossible to break.

"Jasper, will I die?" Rosie asked me in a shaky voice filled to the brink with nerves,

I lifted her hand that had the IV drip stuck into it and kissed her fingers gently before shaking my head as a response to that question which I told myself was ridiculous but of course it was realistic. She could die and there was a chance of it but she couldn't know that, I was her backbone and therefore it was my job to protect and comfort her in times like this. I was the only one apart from Bella, her new friend that could look her in the eye without an ounce of weakness, I wouldn't cry in front of her as I knew that would make her weak.

"Don't be stupid, Rose, of course you won't die!" I frowned with a hint of a smile "You're too strong to give up, you don't need me to tell you that, dummy."

She smiled brightly when the surgeon dressed in his blue scrubs and white gloves came toward us with that funny looking mask which I hated,

"It's time for you to go to sleep now, Rosalie..." he smiled kindly down to her,

she looked up at me, her eyes blurry with tears.

"Jasper, stay with me until I go to sleep!" she said in a manner of urgency, like I was going to leave her alone while the doctors surrounded her like vultures desperate to get a turn in cutting her weak body up.

"I'll stay, don't you worry, I'll stay," I smiled down at her as I stroked the soft skin on the top of her head,

she smiled at me as I turned to look as another doctor pinched her with a needle in the wrist and injected the clear liquid into her veins. I turned to look into her wide eyes with a smile,

"See you when you wake up, Rosie..." I smiled and then she was gone.

Her eyes closed and I was instructed to leave the room as they inserted a tube down her throat to help her breathe during the operation. I looked at my sister once again before walking out of the theatre and into a bright corridor that was too quiet as operations were being taken place. Inhaling the medicine smelling air, I quickly made my way back to Rosalie's ward where mum and dad should be wondering where we had gone. I pushed through the doors of the ward surprised to see my parents, Bella, Edward and, Emmett...

"We came back too late!" mum sniffled back tears while dad comforted her,

I sighed, I couldn't blame them like I thought I could. Mum and dad were worried sick about Rosalie, they'd tried everything to make her get better putting medical bills soaring through the roof.

"Is she okay?"

I turned to look at Emmett who stood like a nervous wreck, I was suspicious of him as he was quite well known to be the popular jock of the football team. Rosalie didn't need some jerk hurting her when she was critically ill, but the worry that was in Emmett's eyes was indeed genuine.

"She's fine, they just put her under right now so I'm guessing we've got a few hours to wait until she wakes up," I nodded as I turned to look at Bella who was sat holding Edward's hand.

She smiled at me, her chocolate brown eyes filled with worry yet bravery, I smiled back at her when suddenly I heard something outside the ward.

"This is so annoying, I'm not even that sick and plus I was supposed to be helping in the high school fashion show and you had to ruin that didn't you?" I heard a girl's voice hiss.

The ward door suddenly swung open and a beautiful girl walked in with a sour expression, I smiled at her when she made eye contact with me and rolled her eyes pointing to her parents.

"Morons..." she whispered over to me "Stage one leukaemia and they think I'm terminally ill!"

I laughed at the small pixie like girl who I felt instantly attracted to,

"The name's Alice by the way and I'm kind of loud so I'd get used to it, oh, and by the way you are super cute!" she smiled as she sat down on an empty white bed while her parents took seats by her.

I walked over to sit by Rosalie's bed by my parents who were unusually quiet, the worry was clearly taking over them which made me uncomfortable, mum was worse though. Dad was used to all this medical stuff cause he was a really respected doctor, Emmett began to pace which only added to the negativity spreading around the whole room.

The only person who was acting remotely normal was cheery Alice who sat quite happily reading a Vogue magazine with her legs crossed, her parents looked like geeky zombies, not even the slightest smile on their faces as they looked in opposite directions of the room. Bella and Edward were happily talking to each other but Rosalie's name kept being mentioned as Bella let her head fall into her hands,

"I'm going to the vending machines to get a Coke or something, be back in a few!" I told my parents as I stood from the bed.

I had, had enough of zombie cancer ward for the time being as I sighed and shook my head of messy dirty blonde hair,

"Oh, can I come with you?" Alice smiled as she dropped her Vogue magazine on the cabinet by her bed.

I smiled at her as she jumped out of bed, her mum grabbed her hand gently,

"Alice, just stay here, please, I don't want you dying on me before the doctors get here!" she said in a weird monotone voice that was completely annoying.

Alice looked horrified at her mother and grabbed her hand back,

"Yeah, well newsflash, before I die I would like a damn Coca Cola, oh and I would like to run the fashion show that I was supposed to be at today oh and another thing, I would like for you two to stop treating me like I'm about to die any second!" she said in a rush of angry words that sounded hilarious as she used hand actions to emphasize how annoyed she was.

With that she stormed towards me and grabbed my hand pulling me out of the ward and down one of the corridors,

"I swear they've already got my funeral planned!" she whined angrily,

I looked at this strange yet adorable teenager, her hair was dark and spiked and she was wearing nice clothes that were probably from major fashion brands since she only talked about fashion in the zombie ward.

"So what cancer have you got?" she asked curiously "Are you terminal?"

I frowned at her, Alice definitely needed to learn when to shut up, she was hyper and talkative which only added to her cute appearance but she was dramatic and hormonal which kind of made a deadly mix of emotions that could set a bomb off. I was pretty sure that if I got her mad enough then she could talk my ears off, or if I asked her a question fashion related, she would go on forever.

"I don't have cancer, it's my sister, she's having brain surgery today so I'm just waiting until she gets out..." I explained,

it was suddenly silent between the two of us,

"Oh, I'm really sorry, that sucks..., a lot!" she nodded as she looked up at me with her kind hazel eyes.

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders,

"So leukaemia, huh?" I asked curiously,

Alice rolled her eyes and nodded,

"Yes!" she hissed "but it's not even that bad, my doctor says there is only a tiny amount of it, like the size of a pin head in my stomach and that they can remove it with a simple operation. But my parents want me to suffer through chemo and radiation for a tiny little tumour. It's like they want me dead or something, am I really that annoying that my parents want me in a grave as soon as possible?"

I laughed at that question because the answer was probably yes, it was easy to understand why someone would want Alice gone. She could talk for hours without stopping to take a breath of air but that's what I liked about her she was cute and hyper.

"Well, I seriously couldn't care if they wanted me dead or not. It's not like I want them to live a long and happy life, I seriously hate my step-mum, like I would kill her for a peanut that's how much I despise her!" Alice rambled on "I would..., I would like push her off a cliff with no regrets!"

I found her hysterical, Alice was officially hilarious as she spoke of her anger towards her step-mum,

"Why do you hate her so much, did she throw a fashion magazine in the trash?" I asked with a cheeky grin.

She rolled her eyes,

"Although that would be a serious crime that I would totally give the death penalty for, no, it was worse. She burned my Dolce & Gabbana bag in a bonfire last year and she says that it was an accident, yeah right. I seriously thought about paying a hit man to shoot her in the head!"

I nodded but the laughter in me bubbled out and I couldn't stop myself, my rib cage felt like it would crack, Alice joined in after a few seconds.

"I'm serious!" she laughed as she grabbed my arm gently,

I rolled my eyes,

"You have no idea how funny you are, now shall we go and get drinks from the vending machines?" I asked.

Alice smiled and nodded,

"How old are you?" I asked,

Alice frowned at me,

"Hey!" she huffed with a hint of laughter.

I frowned and shrugged my shoulders,

"What?"

She laughed again, squeaking like a mouse as she did so,

"I don't even know your name!" she smiled "You look like a Percy!"

I cocked an eyebrow at the petite teenager who smiled at me with sparkles in her hazel eyes,

"Jasper, my name's Jasper not Percy." I said blankly as she giggled at me,

Alice shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm fifteen by the way, and you are fourteen I'm guessing?" she asked,

I nodded at her question,

"So your sister, is she dying?" Alice asked which made me tense up.

I didn't like it when people asked that question, it made my heart stop and my lungs collapse with horror as I realised the reality of the situation. I liked to live in the world where I made out that everything was perfect but when somebody snapped me back into reality then it felt like someone had shot me through the heart. Rosalie was my heart and whenever I thought about loosing her, the tear in it would get deeper.

"No..." I whispered "She's a fighter, she won't give up. Not as long as I stand by her side,"

Alice nodded as we made our way over to the vending machine, I inserted a coin into the slot hitting the button and grabbing my can from the machine while Alice did the same.

"But I am scared, terrified of loosing her to this never ending battle of chemo therapy, she's having her first operation right now and I'm thinking of all the other surgeries she might have to go through and it frightens me to the core. If I loose her then I won't be able to live, I refuse to,"

Alice looked at me in silence and stroked my arm gently,

"I'll pray for her..., and you..." she smiled.

I nodded and we both walked slowly back to Rosalie's ward, I smiled as I thought I might have found my soul mate in talkative, fashion obsessed, step-mother hating Alice...


	10. Chapter 10 Tick Tock, Tick Tock

**Thank You for reviews again!**

**The two most powerful **

**warriors are **

**patience and time.  
**

**~Leo Tolstoy, author~**

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**Chapter 10**

**Tick Tock, Tick Tock...**

Watching the clock tick up on the far wall of the ward made the baby hairs on the back of my neck stand on end with worry over Rosalie who now had been in theatre for over two hours. Edward had to leave to go see his parents who were hosting a birthday party for his grandmother's ninetieth birthday, although he refused to leave me at first I managed to persuade him to go.

He had been cooped up in this hospital with me for hours, I know it could be stressful for him to sit there and watch me in obvious pain as the chemo ran its course through my body once again, it was a feeling that you could never get used to. Charlie had to leave to go sort out a recent robbery that took place somewhere in town while mum was stuck here with me just reading newspapers and enjoying watching the new girl, Alice, talk her parents heads off with insults.

I watched the small girl huff and roll her eyes as she waited for the doctor to come tell her that she didn't need chemo or radiation and that she could go home. But unfortunately for her, the doctor who she was looking for was in the middle of Rosalie's operation that seemed to be taking forever.

The worst possible thoughts kept running through my mind, what if something went wrong like they found a blood clot or she flat lined during surgery. I was useless as waiting games and hated when someone close to me was in danger of loosing their lives. I remember once when dad got shot in the leg, I thought he was going to die even though it wasn't a serious injury. I sighed and leaned back resting my head on the uncomfortable white pillow as I watched for any signs of movement outside the glass window that was in the ward door.

Every person that walked past, I felt a jump in my heart anxious to see if Rose was okay but nobody was coming inside our ward which just irritated me to the point where I wanted to storm to the theatre and ask what was taking them so long. Then again, it was brain surgery that she was receiving, they had to be super slow in every movement that they made or a slight pinch of the wrong part could leave her completely blind or numb on one side of her body. Jasper was sitting with Alice reading through one of her magazines pointing out all of the latest clothes that she was getting from her grandparents.

Rosalie's boyfriend, Emmett sat on a chair by her bed, he was gorgeous. She wasn't kidding, muscles everywhere and gorgeous dark eyes framed with dark lashes and tanned skin. But it was the worry on his face that caught my attention, he was terrified, it was obvious. What Edward said about him being a cheater was a completely wrong statement, by the look on his face he only had one girl who was on his mind, Rosalie.

Clasping and unclasping his hands, tapping his foot on the floor and biting his bottom lip he was as anxious as I was about how long Rose had been in there. Just as I was in the mid thought about Rose the door opened and doctors came swarming in with smiles on their faces, Rosalie's surgeon was there. He turned to Rosalie's parents, Carlisle and Esme who were sitting silently in the corner. I almost completely forgot they were they because they were so quiet,

"The surgery was a success, all of the tumour was removed. We didn't experience any difficulties during the surgery, everything looks fine. Rosalie for now is in the intensive care unit where she will be monitored carefully, when she wakes up we will bring her back to this ward. Feel free to visit her if you wish!" he smiled before leaving the ward.

I watched with a smile as Carlisle and Esme hugged and kissed each other, Jasper jumped in the air shouting yes while Emmett released a breath of relief. Alice smiled as one of the doctors sat on her bed, the doctor who she had been waiting to see all day. I wanted to see Rosalie, I wanted to see her desperately, my stomach was doing somersaults as my heart fluttered with joy. Jasper looked at me and smiled as he approached,

"You can come and visit her any time you'd like, okay?" he asked as he took my hand in his and kissed my palm,

I nodded with a smile at his kindness, he really did suit the title guardian angel.

"Thanks!" I sighed with relief, he nodded once and turned to walk towards Alice's bed, I watched him carefully as he smiled and talked to her before leaving the ward with his parents and Emmett.

Mum looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, she was suspicious of my next actions,

"You're not leaving this ward until your chemo is over and done with, young lady!" she frowned sternly before lowering her eyes back to the magazine she was reading.

I huffed and lay back watching the poison run through the tubes into my veins, by the looks of it I would say that I still had another fifteen minutes for the process of chemo to be over. Rosalie was the only word that kept running through my mind over and over again, it was actually pretty annoying, whenever I tried not to think about her a flash of her gorgeous face appeared in my mind.

I wanted to see her and I wanted to see her now but with mum in the corner there wasn't a chance in hell I could escape right now without her noticing, fifteen minutes wasn't long but right at that moment it felt like an eternity. I darted my eyes towards the clock again, it was like an obsession that was impossible to break away from which irritated me beyond belief. All other voices and sounds faded into the background and the only thing that I could hear was the ticking of the hands on that damn clock.

"Bella!" I heard a voice squeak with delight,

I frowned in the direction of the voice that led me to little Alice peering at me with a cheeky grin prying at her lips,

"Would you like to read a magazine with me, we can pick out the best designers and choose the best outfits and decide which model is the most beautiful?" she asked in a flutter of words.

The very thought of discussing fashion kind of left me feeling sick in the pit of my stomach, it was literally a nightmare brought to life. I cringed at the thought and shook my head,

"Um, no thanks, I don't like fashion all that much to be honest..." I sighed apologetically which made her jaw drop in horror.

I was quite sure that she wanted to kill me right there and then which made me uncomfortable, little people with a mean streak were the scariest of all human beings.

"You deserve to go to hell after that statement with my dumb ass step-mother here!" Alice pointed to the woman who sat by her bed,

she was a very serious looking woman wearing a black dress and her dark hair tied into a bun on her head. I almost laughed but bit my lip to stop myself,

"Alice, that was a very inappropriate statement to make, apologize to me this instant!" the woman frowned.

Alice rolled her eyes,

"In your dreams, witch, why don't you get a life and stop butting in on mine, sound like a good idea?" she frowned.

I gasped at the way Alice talked to that woman, I was surprised she hadn't been grounded forever, if I was ever to talk to either of my parents like that then I was sure that I would be in a coma for six years.

Suddenly the nurse on duty came over to me with a wide smile on her freckled face, I sighed with relief as she removed the IV and needles from my exhausted arms.

"That's you all done, Bella, your updated CAT scan will be due in a couple of days to see if the cancer has improved!" she explained,

I squeaked excitedly to my mother as she hugged me tightly. Another CAT scan to see if my cancer had gone, the last time they checked it wasn't that bad so I was guessing that the cancer had completely gone this time and if it had then I was on the road to living a great life.

Yet with that thought came the horror of Rosalie's situation, I didn't know if her cancer had gotten worse or not, I prayed that she was okay and that she was on the road to healing after all the long years she had spent in this hell hole of a hospital.

If there was a God out there then he would make sure that Rosalie survived this battle, it was a difficult battle but I just knew she could win it and that gave me a sense of relief. Rosalie's life wasn't ending, it was just beginning and I would stand by her through recovery and be her friend forever.


	11. Chapter 11 Truth Doesn't Lie

**Thanks For the Wonderful Reviews! DMcInk.**

**I don't think of all the misery **

**but of the beauty**

**that still remains.**

**~Anne Frank~**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11**

**Truth Doesn't Lie**

The air was cold around me, the sound of a heart monitor beeping every two seconds as a cluster of voices became clear through the blurred noises. I moved my finger tips and toes touching the sheets that lay softly beneath me, I was in the hospital of course that part was quite obvious but I was scared to open my eyes in case I was wrong.

Where else could I be? I know it sounded stupid and I knew I was being terribly cowardly but the reality was that I was terrified of opening my eyes to a nightmare, what if Jasper wasn't there like he said he would be? What if Bella had been beaten by her disease and what if I was opening my eyes to a bunch of doctors explaining that my family weren't coming to see me again, I know inappropriate thoughts were ridiculous to worry about.

I frowned lightly listening to the voices that were travelling around me like a circle, I wanted to recognise them,

"Jasper, you don't have to stay, you look so tired, maybe it's best if you rest your eyes for a while..."

Mum's voice! A smile pried at my lips as my eyes flickered open to the sight of the bright hospital lights above,

"Rosalie!"

Jasper's voice, I smiled happily as I turned my head slightly to see my brother walking towards me with the biggest smile you could ever have imagined. He was so beautiful, a genuine angel that watched over me in times that I needed him the most. I didn't speak I just watched as he took hold of my hand and stroked it with the gentlest of touches, mum and dad were over me in an instant checking me over and planting kisses all over my face.

"My Rose!" Mum cried as she stroked my cheek with her soft hand,

I smiled and raised my hand to grasp hers,she held my hand like her life depended on it. I watched the tears leave her honey eyes, tears of hope and tears of joy, perhaps she thought I wasn't waking up but I did and I felt better than I ever had.

Having my family around me was a lovely experience that I cherished with every ounce of my beating heart, dad kissed my nose gently as he smiled down at me proudly. I gulped as a single tear found its way down my cheek, with Jasper's hand in one hand and Esme's in the other, I couldn't have felt more supported.

"Hey..." I managed to sigh out weakly, my voice sounded terrible probably from the lack of water,

suddenly there was another pair of heavy footsteps, I peered around Jasper to see Emmett, my gorgeous boyfriend who was smiling at me with bright eyes. I gasped as my smile widened,

"Emmett, I dreamt of you..." I sighed as he approached me and embraced me softly making sure not to entwine himself in the tubes that were running from my body to the machines that surrounded me.

"I thought of you a lot, Rose, you have no idea how much I love you..." he whispered in my ear so I could only hear his true loving words,

I ran my fingers along his cheek and nodded my head only to realise that it was covered with bandages from the operation.

"Yes I do!" I protested "I've known all along that you love me and I feel exactly the same about you, Emmett!" I whispered into his ear before giving him a quick kiss that made him smile, showing those adorable dimples of his.

I yawned and removed the breathing plastic tube that was placed annoyingly up my nostrils making them itch, I sneezed and shook my head gently making sure not to strain my neck.

"So, how did the operation go, am I officially dying or do I get lucky enough to live another day?" I asked seriously as I looked up to my father, Carlisle who smiled down at me,

Jasper smiled and kissed my cheek while mum clapped her hands excitedly.

"I'm guessing that I get to live a little while longer, huh?"

Mum frowned,

"You've got a whole life to live, lady, you're not dying on my watch, I won't allow it, understand?" she asked in a surprisingly stern voice that made her look quite funny.

Jasper laughed and I joined in,

"Just because you've got cancer, doesn't mean I won't ground your butt for an eternity Missy..."

I looked at Jasper who rolled his eyes and shook his head, I smiled as I shrugged my shoulders,

"It's not like I go anywhere but the hospital mum, grounding me is practically impossible since I never go anywhere exciting!"

She sighed and shook her head which made me smile and give Jasper a high five, Emmett smiled at me when there was a knocking sound at the ward.

"Come in!" I smiled although I couldn't see past everybody surrounding me,

I watched when suddenly I saw her. Bella Swan, I gasped happily as I saw the smile on her beautiful face as she held a bouquet full of yellow roses. I felt emotion rushing through my body as I recognized the colour yellow as being the symbol of true friendship and hope.

"Bella!" I choked out as I felt the tears stream down my cheeks, I was terrible at dealing with emotions and the tears streaming down my face proved it.

She smiled and approached my bed being careful of not stepping in anybody's way, they moved to let her get to me,

"I heard that you were awake..., so I wanted to come and see you but I couldn't just come empty handed so I got you these with my pocket money..."

I bit my bottom lip with a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach, how could she think that she needed to bring me a gift to prove that she was a good friend. Bella was a perfect friend, a sister, she didn't need anything but herself to prove that she was a brilliant friend.

"You shouldn't have, Bella, yeah, they're gorgeous but you didn't have to buy them at all. It's fine for you to come without gifts, flowers are something that can be replaced but a friend like you is something that can't, now hurry up and give me a hug my fellow egg head!"

She smiled and rested the flowers on the table by my bed before wrapping her arms around me, it felt so good to have her here with me again. I felt lovely inside which is something that I haven't felt in a long time since my insides are practically like glue that has stuck to my major organs.

My brain surgery was a great success but the truth was that they couldn't operate on inoperable cancer tumours that were pressed dangerously against my kidneys and liver. I may not have died through that surgery, but the truth was inevitable, I would die. It was just a matter of when...


	12. Chpt12 Don't Tell Me Where The Road Ends

**thanks for the reviews once again, i appreciate them very much. Thank you and i hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Some see a hopeless end,**

**while others see an**

**endless hope. **

**~Author Unknown~**

**Chapter 12**

**Don't Tell Me Where The Road Ends**

Laying on damp grass in my back yard was not my idea of a romantic evening but with Edward by my side not could've been more perfect. We lay close together as we both stared into the dark sky above admiring the beautiful stars and and full moon, the silence was beautiful as we held hands.

I sighed with a smile as I closed my eyes slowly, the CAT scan proved what we were all hoping for. My cancer had reduced dramatically to the point where they just had to remove a little tumour in my kidney and I would be completely healed. I would be healthy, cancer free, a vision I had been dreaming of and a wish that had finally come true.

Just four months ago I had thought that I wouldn't have lived to see my seventeenth birthday, but it turned out that I was a survivor after all as my birthday neared in less than a week. Edward smiled at me and kissed my cheek as he brushed the top of my head where my hair would soon grow in again, long and glossy dark hair.

I could go to school, I could get married and have kids with Edward. I could maybe find the career of my dreams and live happily ever after. That story was now possible as the darkness had faded from my life like magic, I was one of the lucky ones but then there were the not so lucky.

The children, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers that had died of cancer and had left behind shattering heart ache that could never be mended, was Rosalie among those brave soldiers that had fallen through battle. I gulped thinking about her once again, I tried to rid the negative images of her from my mind but they always popped up unexpectedly.

"What are you thinking about?" I heard Edward whisper into my ear softly as he stroked my cheek with his warm finger,

I looked into his gorgeous green eyes that were full of love, he loved me and I loved him, it was beautiful.

"Rosalie..." I admitted to him sheepishly,

he huffed and rolled his eyes before laying back down on the grass, I frowned at his response to Rosalie's name. He obviously was annoyed with me but I didn't understand why,

"You should really try not to mention her name every five minutes, Bella, it gets very irritating. Can you no find something more interesting to talk about, like the stars and the moon?"

I gulped and looked to the sky that seemed to have a sense of freedom that I adored., I looked back to Edward who pretended not to notice me staring at his perfect features. I felt a sadness inside me as I looked at him, maybe I was thinking about Rosalie too much and not giving too much thought into Edward and my relationship, maybe I should just forget about Rose for a while. Edward was important to me too, I couldn't let him be left out for too long, he had patience but that had run out after the millionth conversation we'd had about Rosalie.

"You're right!" I agreed with a smile as I let my shoulders relax "Lets talk about something else for a change,"

Edward smiled and looked up at me with a cocked eyebrow which I found utterly adorable, he was perfect in ways that I couldn't describe. He really was something special, he was my true love. My prince in shining armour.

"Really?" he asked in surprise as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him towards me for a soft embrace that he returned happily,

he kissed my cheek playfully and ran his hand over my head before pulling me onto the grass with him turning us both so we could look up to the starry night again.

"I've been told that when you get chemo and your hair falls out, it can grow in a different colour!" I smiled at the thought,

Edward frowned and turned to me,

"I couldn't imagine you with another colour of hair, I don't think blonde would suit you and red hair would just look weird against your freakishly pale skin. You are a brunette, and that is my favourite colour of hair!" Edward smiled.

I laughed at his disapproval of blonde and red hair, Edward was down to the point and never truly afraid to state the things that were on his mind at that time.

"So, when you are officially healed of cancer what are you going to do?" Edward asked as he rubbed his thumb along my palm softly,

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders as I thought about that question.

"Go to school, play the guitar, party like mad!" I smiled as I giggled at the thought of me dancing, not a very good idea at all come to think about it.

Edward grinned,

"I imagined you to be the extreme kind of girl, like parachuting from a plane or snow boarding down a cliff. That sort of thing..." he explained to me seriously with a smile,

I frowned and shook my head,

"Edward you know how unlucky I am. If I were to parachute from a plane then you know as well as I do that either the plane would burst into flames or a hole would rip through the shoot. And if I were to snowboard then there would be a guaranteed avalanche!"

He smiled and laughed as he nodded in agreement at my words, it was true, I was incredibly unlucky and very clumsy in very serious situations. I swear I was born with two left feet.

"Okay, then what about travelling around the world?" he asked as we sat staring at the sky with wonder,

I thought about that seriously for a moment, it didn't seem like such a bad idea to come to think about it. I had always loved the idea of travelling around the world, going on adventures that were filled with mystery.

"I've always wanted to go to Australia and travel around Europe, London and Paris being the main cities I would love to go to!" I smiled,

Edward shook his head,

"Australia yes, Paris and London no!" he frowned "Too cold, I don't like coldness, we already have enough of it here in Forks!"

I nodded at his statement before sitting up and pulling myself up to my feet, Edward sighed and rolled his eyes,

"What are you doing now?" he asked,

I smiled and offered my hand to him, he looked at me suspiciously,

"I won't bite you, come on, I'm bored of just laying around!" I moaned as he reached up and grabbed my hand.

I helped him to his feet and walked towards my house where I could see mum, she was baking something in the kitchen. Dad was at work again dealing with more idiotic criminals, Edward and I were free to rule the world if we wanted to since Charlie was gone. Mum didn't care what Edward and I got up to as long as nothing valuable was broken,

"Do you want some cake?" Mum offered as we walked into the kitchen smiling,

I shook my head refusing the caramel topped cake but Edward said yes immediately as the smell was like heaven. Melted chocolate round the sides with whipped cream.

"Bella, do you know how Rosalie's doing?" mum asked the killer question that was like a kick to the gut again as her face flashed in my mind,

I sighed, the last time I had seen her was a couple of days ago in the same ward getting more chemo, it was the same story over and over again for Rose. Pain and then more pain and finally pain once again, it never stopped, it was like a continuous cycle of absolute torture that she couldn't escape from.

I looked over to Edward who cocked an eyebrow at me as if to say didn't we agree not to talk about Rosalie? But I couldn't help it, Rose was a person that you couldn't just get out of your mind. She was constantly there, in my dreams, in my nightmares, a lot of things reminded me of her and the worry about her always clouded over my head.

"I don't know, but we'll see her in a couple of days when we go back to the hospital, so it doesn't really matter, we've got all the time in the world!" I smiled as I turned to look at Edward,

mum frowned silently.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" she asked looking a little pissed off with me,

I looked at Edward who shrugged his shoulders,

"Well both Edward and I agreed that not all of our time has to be spent thinking of Rosalie, Edward's been left out so I'm spending more time with him instead of Rose!" I explained with a smile,

but instead of nodding in agreement she shook her head in disappointment,

"What?" I frowned.

She huffed and looked towards me with her hands on her hips,

"You've got you're whole life to spend time with Edward, Bella, you've got a damn lot of time on your hands. Rosalie..., Rosalie may only have a few days or maybe a month or two left of her life. She hasn't got any time, her clock is already ticking to its final stop and you're worrying about your boyfriend who is perfectly healthy, nothing wrong with him?"

I gasped as I listened to mum's words, I felt my heart freeze as tears built up in my eyes,

"That girl has experienced nothing but torture, and you think you've got all the time in the world to be with her, you'll be lucky if she's not laying in a box right now..."

I felt the tears stream down my face as I envisioned my best friend dead, her weak body lifeless and cold,

"But the operation, it fixed her!" I frowned in disagreement "She's going to be okay!"

Mum frowned and shook her head.

"Oh come on Bella, wake up, Rosalie's been dying for a very long time, her life's coming to an end fast. Her cancer has moved up to advanced stage five, she's terminal, Rosalie is going to die!"

I screamed and grabbed a glass out of the sink and smashed it against the wall causing mum to jump with fright,

"Rosalie's not going to die, she's a fighter, don't tell me where her road ends because I don't want to hear it because it's not true. She'll make it, she has to!" I cried "Rosalie Hale is a survivor!"


	13. Chapter 13 Fading Sun

**thank you for reading my story. Reviews are appreciated...**

**Some days there won't**

**be a song in**

**your heart.**

**Sing anyway. **

**~Emory Austin~**

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**Chapter 13**

**Fading Sun**

The days that passed seemed to be getting darker, the pain that I felt seemed to fade away yet my faith and determination in survival was at its strongest, feeling my body getting weaker and weaker as each day past was the scariest part of my whole cancer experience.

Never had I felt so tired, so useless as I could barely manage to hold a pencil in my hand without it feeling too heavy against the extremely sensitive flesh of my palm. Dad had left work for a while to stay home with mum, Jasper and I, he was obviously well aware that I was becoming this frail young girl, I honestly felt like I was eighty.

The dark circles under my eyes were getting bigger with each passing day and the movements of my hands were becoming slower as my elbow joints ached with a pain like someone had carved into my bones with a knife. I was on my death bed, nose bleeds were now a reoccurring problem and vomiting in my sleep had caused my reflexes to stop working almost drowning me. The only chance I had now was kidney transplants, a liver transplant and a lung transplant, but the chance of me getting all of those major organs was impossible.

There was a huge waiting list in all three of those departments which would make me able to get them in a time span of three to four years. I wasn't going to live that long, desperation was setting in as the need to survive was unbearable. I kept telling myself that the cancer wasn't going to kill me, that there were worse people off in the world than me but being positive all the time was tough. I was brave, I could take needles and operations without screaming my head off like I was being murdered but being brave when death was so close to me was hard.

I always told myself that I would never loose my courage in times like this but as my body became more numb to sensations around me I became more petrified because I knew as soon as pain that you normally feel on a daily basis goes away, that is the very first sign that your body is giving up on itself.

My body had started giving up on me but my mind continued to battle through the weakness and stress of this damned disease that I was living with. If only a miracle would occur, I know how rare they are but there have been a few cases where people have survived cancer by getting organs just before they were headed for certain death, maybe one of those rare cases would be me. I sure hoped so.

I sighed, letting the air escape from my damaged lungs with a crackling noise like I had a nstay cough, Jasper sat in the corner of the room just staring at me with those gorgeous violet eyes that resembled mine almost perfectly. I smiled in his direction but it was if he was seeing right through me, he was in deep thought about something as his hands were clasped together underneath his chin. I frowned at him, he hadn't blinked in a few minutes, his deep thought look suddenly worried me as the baby hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as a shiver ran up my spine,

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I asked slowly "Are you in pain, if you're tired then just go to bed!"

He looked up at me finally blinking with a slight smile on his slender face,

"Always worrying about me, Rosie..., I'm fine I was just thinking about you and the organ transplants that you need..." he sighed as he shrugged his shoulders.

I nodded as he explained what was on his mind, but something still seemed off as he fell back into the blank stare he had just been doing for the past five minutes.

"Jasper cut that staring thing, you are really starting to freak me out!" I complained by waving a hand in his direction trying to get his attention once again.

He looked up at me again with the same pleasant smile, the twinkles in his eyes as he stood from his chair and approached me.

"I'm going to make sure you get that organs, Rosalie, trust me..." he smiled softly as he brushed his fingers across my cheek bones,

I frowned with a smile as I wondered what exactly he had planned up his sleeve.

"Are you going to be one of those maniacs who steal organs from the hospital, cause you do know that, that is seriously messed up, right?" I giggled and he joined in for a while,

he shrugged his shoulders while brushing his fingers through those locks of blonde hair, he looked out of my bedroom window and faced the sun's glare that shone on his face beautifully. He looked like a golden angel, my golden angel.

"No, I'm not going to steal someone else's organs, but I will get them for you, think of it as a gift from me to you..."

This talk between my brother and I was becoming weirder as each moment passed,

"What do you mean by that, Jazz?" I asked using his little nickname that I had came up with for him, he liked it so it worked perfectly.

He looked from the window towards me once again and came towards me, this time much more gracefully as he took my hand,

"Come on over to the window, I want to show you the sun, it's beautiful!"

I cocked an eyebrow but did as he asked, helping me out of my bed Jasper wrapped his arm around my shoulder supporting me so that my legs wouldn't collapse. We walked towards the window where he pushed the light blue curtain aside so I could get a better view of the landscape outside. I gasped as I took in the sun lit fields that surrounded our country home, it was a golden filled place of happiness.

"I hope heaven looks like this..." I smiled as I placed my hand against the cool glass of the window

Jasper looked at me then turned his attention towards the fields again, he sighed and held me for a few minutes more until I felt exhausted again from standing.

He smiled and helped me to my bed gently,

"So how are you getting the organs again?" I asked awaiting an answer,

he smiled gently towards me,

"It's a surprise, maybe you'll be proud of me for getting them the way I plan to or maybe you'll hate me forever but Rose, but just remember that I love you, okay?" he asked in a clam soothing voice that scared the hell out of me.

I frowned as I felt knots in my stomach, what he was telling me just didn't feel right,

"You're not going to kill anybody?" I asked seriously,

he gulped and looked to me with those gorgeous eyes. Those beautiful violet eyes that calmed me down when I was in pain,

"I'll explain everything later, Rosie, but right now I have to go somewhere. I love you Rosalie, you deserve every ounce of happiness you can get out of this world and now I have a good feeling that you'll live the life you were supposed to have before this cancer crap."

I was speechless as he smiled brightly, his face reminded me of the sun, so beautiful and bright, ran away the darkness in my life and chased the light in with love. But right now he was scaring me, was he planning to kill somebody, was he going to steal from the hospital, whatever he was planning to do made my heart race in the wrong way. Before leaving my room straight away, he walked towards me silently and wrapped his arms around me tightly, he filled me with so much light.

"Bye, Rosie, I hope you'll forgive me in time, I really do. Goodbye sweetheart..."

And with a final kiss to my forehead he was gone out of my bedroom and down the stairs and out of the house, I shook my head hoping he would stay out of trouble but I didn't want Jasper to hurt anybody for me, I would rather die in pain than have somebody hurt, I sighed brushing the thoughts aside and fell into a dream of angels and light.


	14. Chapter 14 I Can't Breathe

_thanks for the reviews once again!_

**_"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening,_**

**_ I am responsible for_ _my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life_**

**_. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. _**

**_I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss,_**

**_ or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself."_**

**Walter Anderson**

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**Chapter 14**

**I Can't Breathe**

I woke up in a cold sweat with the duvet covers wrapped around me loosely, I felt my body shaking and my heart accelerating at an alarming rate. The nightmare I had just had was not of the chemo therapy or of the operation, it wasn't even about dying. It was about my brother, my twin Jasper, his face kept flashing in my mind.

It was of him getting swallowed into a dark hole and I couldn't grab his hand in time, he just slipped away from me. I sighed as I reminded myself that it was just a nightmare, but the thoughts of what he had told me earlier about how he was going to get my organs, about how he would guarantee that I would get them.

I didn't understand what he meant by that, if he was just trying to encourage me to keep on fighting or if he was going to do something crazy like steal from the hospital which was utterly ridiculous. I gulped as I pulled the duvet covers over my icy cold body as I thought about him, surely he wouldn't kill somebody, I knew he was a little bit insane at times but murder was totally barbaric.

I giggled at the thought even though it wasn't actually funny, Jasper would do literally anything for me which made me guilty as I knew I was the reason he hadn't had such a good normal life like other boys his age. Jasper became a man at a really young age, forced to look after me and care for me like my mother and father, I hated watching him suffer over me.

Maybe I was better off dead, all I had done was ruin his life. He should have been playing basketball or football and instead he was giving me medicine, tidying my bedroom, cleaning up after me when I had been sick and staying in the hospital with me for hours on end when he should have been in school studying. I was the reason he had been left behind, left out and ignored.

But it bothered me that he didn't care, he didn't mind if I came first in everything, in fact he was damn proud of me which inspired me to keep going through this hell hole treatment. Jasper would do anything for me as long as it meant that I would survive.

"Rosalie, are you okay in there?" I heard Esme, my mother, call from outside my door,

I blinked a few times getting rid of the thoughts of my brother for just a moment, mum was great, she tried to help me through this but it was difficult for her. She didn't like seeing me when I was in pain or high as a kite when I was on medicine to help the burning of the chemo on my insides.

"Yeah, come in!" I called trying to sound happy and healthy,

mum found it hard to talk to me without bursting into tears, I felt sorry for her, I may have been dying from a disease but she was also dying from the depression that came along with my sickness. I knew she took pills, sleeping tablets, depression pills, paracetamol, ibuprofen and others all at the same time before she went to bed. Jasper and I both knew she was taking the drugs but we didn't say anything in case that made her worse but I had hidden her pills before and that caused her to try to drown herself in the bathtub.

Dad wasn't there, he was working at the time, we didn't want to tell him either in case he divorced her. I didn't want that to happen, I didn't want our family spilt up and I didn't want my mother to deal with the pain of loosing both her daughter and her husband. If that was to happen then I was sure that she would commit suicide one way or another. She walked in the room slowly with a smile on her face, she was awfully pale with dark circles under her lovely eyes.

"Hi, how are you?" I asked as she sat down on the edge of my bed with a sigh,

I gulped as she turned to look at me,

"I'm fine, Rosie, how about you?" she asked softly "Are you feeling better today?"

I thought about that question but decided to tell her a lie, I didn't need her worrying about me, if she was worried then that made me panic at what she would do next.

"I'm okay, the pain isn't so bad!" I smiled at stomach cramps ripped inside my body like storms,

she smiled in return, looking genuinely happy as she took my hand in hers.

I watched her expression as it turned from a smile to an empty blank stare across my bedroom, she was hard to understand some times. Esme was more like a worried big sister than a mother when I was sick, she didn't exactly know what to do or say in the times where I was screaming in pain or quiet in thought.

"Mum?" I asked as I frowned at her expression that frightened me slightly,

she snapped out of her trance and smiled at me once again,

"I'm sorry, Rosalie, where's Jasper?" she asked.

I sighed, whenever she asked me where Jasper was it was usually a sign that she wanted to leave me with him while she went away and took a bunch of pills, I hated when she did that. It hurt me in ways that she couldn't possibly imagined, they way that she abused herself with drugs to get out of the misery of my terminal situation.

"He went out somewhere, I don't know when he'll be back, so..." I shrugged my shoulders and picked away the broken parts of my finger nails.

She sighed and nodded but look anxious,

"You can go if you want to, I'm kind of tired anyway..." I smiled,

she smiled back at me before kissing the top of my forehead.

"I love you, Rosalie, I'll call you down for dinner in a few hours, okay?" she asked,

I nodded and watched as she removed herself from my room and shut the door behind her quietly.

I sighed and rolled my eyes in frustration as I fell back on my bed, being in my home was worse than being in the hospital. There was so much negativity buzzing around this place that it made me itch with anger. I needed Jasper to come calm me down, this was unbearable, I needed to call his phone.

I got out of my bed and opened my bedroom door and walked down the stairs to the kitchen where I found his mobile phone sitting on the kitchen table. I frowned, he never left home without his phone, and then I found a letter on the microwave with my name on it in Jasper's handwriting.

I frowned as I felt something wrong in the pit of my stomach, I grabbed the letter and headed back up to my bedroom with the horrible feeling still lingering in my stomach. Something was off and I didn't like it at all, where was he? I gulped as I shut my bedroom door and sat on my bed when thoughts of out conversation rushed into my mind.

"I'm going to make sure you get that organs, Rosalie, trust me..."

"No, I'm not going to steal someone else's organs, but I will get them for you, think of it as a gift from me to you..."

"Bye, Rosie, I hope you'll forgive me in time, I really do. Goodbye sweetheart..."

It suddenly clicked in my mind, I felt my heart stop and my wind pipe clench tightly at the point where I couldn't breathe.

"No!" I gasped as I tore the envelope open and grabbed the letter that lay inside.

I read the first sentence and broke down in hysterical tears.

'By the time you read this note Rosalie, I'll be gone, my organs are to be donated to you my brave, sweet sister, I love you so much, please forgive me my beautiful Rose, have the life you deserve, your brother Jasper...'

I gasped quickly, I couldn't breathe. The pain in my body was at its worst as I fell on the floor shaking violently, my hands and feet had cramped as I felt my heart tear into shreds. I couldn't see..., I couldn't hear..., I couldn't do anything... My body may have still been alive but my soul and drive to survive was dead..., I was dead, my angel, my everything, my Jasper was..., dead...


	15. Chapter 15 I Will Be Waiting

**thanks for the reviews**

**If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, **

**then maybe we can all learn from them. **

** When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? **

**We have two options, medically and emotionally:**

** give up, or fight like hell. **

** ~Lance Armstrong~  
**

**Chapter 15**

**I Will Be Waiting**

I screamed out as loud as I could feeling the pressure in my lungs as the thought of Jasper's suicide note ripped through my thoughts painfully. My bedroom door swung open and dad had scooped me up off of the floor in an instant,

"Rose, what's wrong?" he asked frantically as I gasped for gulps of air, my world had shattered.

I couldn't talk as I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel anything but pain,

"Rosalie!" he shouted at me gripping my shoulders firmly as I looked up at him whimpering and hiccuping.

"Jasper!" I shrieked as I dug my nails into my bed, "He's dead!" I screamed as I sobbed onto my father's shoulder,

I sobbed and I felt my father slip out of my grasp as he stood to his feet with wide eyes, his jaw had dropped but nothing escaped his lips.

"No..., no..., no!" he frowned as I saw the crumpled expression on his face, "you've had a nightmare, Rose," he nodded as his hands began to shake from nerves.

I grabbed Jasper's note from my beside cabinet and let it fall from my hands and land on the carpet in front of Carlisle's feet, his hand was clasped over his mouth as I heard myself sob once again in defeat. My vision had blurred from the tears as dad lowered himself to grab the note in his shaking hands, the note that was addressed to me in Jasper's perfect handwriting. Mum ran into my room in an instant demanding to know what had just happened,

"Rosie, why are you crying?" she asked as she had wrapped her hands around me quickly,

I held onto her tightly, I didn't want to loose her. I sobbed as his perfect violet eyes flashed in my mind, my beautiful brother, my guardian angel. His blonde locks of hair and bright smile flashed in my mind,

"My boy!" dad suddenly shouted in despair, "my baby boy!"

Mum pulled away from me in shock,

"Jasper!" she shrieked in horror "where is he?" she screamed "Carlisle!"

I let my head fall into my hands as I cried,

"My boy, my boy, my boy!" dad repeated at his voice cracked with sobs.

Esme gasped quickly as she grabbed the note from his hands as he fell to his knees, I watched her expression as she read the same writing I had read.

"Oh my god!" she screamed loudly "oh my god!"

I couldn't take it any more, I jumped from my bed and ran from my room to the bathroom locking myself in. I couldn't take the pain, I needed to shut it out somehow. I cried as I thought about it, if the drugs helped mum to stop feeling bad maybe it was time for me to start, I wanted to die too. This wasn't fair, I hated him, I hated Jasper for killing himself. How could he do this to me? How dare he! I screamed with anger as I turned the taps of the sink on to the full and plugged it with toilet roll letting the sound of the water to drown out the sound of my parents crying. I growled in anger as I punched through the glass mirror door that hid the medicines that mum used, I pulled my fist from the glass to reveal blood that streamed down my arm.

"You think killing yourself would save me, Jasper?" I shouted as I grabbed the containers of drugs and emptied them onto the toilet seat, "Guess again!"

I took a handful of the pills and shoved them into my mouth swallowing them down before I heard banging on the bathroom door.

"Rosalie!" I heard my father's voice "Rosalie, open this door now!"

I shook my head ignoring his voice as I let the sound of the water calm me down, my life was broken before but now it was shattered, a problem that couldn't be fixed. I opened my eyes and looked into the broken glass of the mirror seeing the disgusting person I truly was when suddenly I saw him.

"Stop this right now, Rosalie Lillian Hale, this is cowardly, don't be a coward. Be a survivor like I always knew you were!"

I gasped and blinked, then he was gone, I hadn't realised that the water from the sink had overflowed on the bathroom floor. I felt myself becoming dizzy and then everything went blank as I slipped on the water and smacked my face against the sink, my face in the water as I fell unconscious.

I felt fresh air blowing on my face as I woke up under a bright light that I recognized all too well, being in the hospital was actually comforting. I didn't like being at home, the hospital was paradise compared to that hell hole of a home. I groaned as I felt the swollen side of my face, I reached up and touched it which only added more pain. I shook my head and grabbed the oxygen mask that was over my face and pulled it off, I managed to sit myself up and looked around to see my father standing by my bed with a blank face. He didn't look at all pleased with me, obviously as I had tried to kill myself earlier, I was a failure at everything. Couldn't even end my life right.

"What?" I frowned,

he looked around us, nobody was in the ward except for us, he grabbed the curtain that surrounded my bed and pulled it around so nobody could see us. I was ready for the huge argument that was about to happen, I sighed as I waited for his face to go bright red with fury.

"Aren't you going to shout at me?" I asked as he sat down in the chair next to me,

I saw the tears in his eyes as he took my hand in his gently,

"Rosalie, you've been in a coma for two weeks..."

I frowned, that had to be impossible, it was like I had only been knocked out for two minutes and instead I was out for two weeks.

"We've had Jasper's funeral..." he began,

I gasped and frowned,

"How could you have his funeral without me?" I demanded angrily "I'm the god damn reason he's dead!"

He stroked my hand gently but I took in away angrily,

"This isn't fair, he left me alone!" I shouted as the tears swelled in my eyes again "Jasper left me!"

Carlisle stood and wrapped his arms around me holding me loosely as he kissed my forehead,

"His organs are waiting for you..."

I began to sob as I thought about him again,

"I don't want his organs inside me, he left me!" I screamed loudly when suddenly I felt a sharp feeling in my chest which caused the machines around me to beep loudly.

I gasped for air,

"Rosalie, calm down, you're giving yourself a heart attack!"

I gasped loudly as the pain go worse and dad pulled the curtain away, I heard him shout for assistance as he gripped onto me for dear life.

"Daddy!" I cried as a swarm of doctors surrounded me injecting me with stuff until the pain died down.

"We have to operate on her as soon as possible, her heart's not going to last much longer Dr Hale,"

he nodded and kissed my forehead,

"I'll be waiting for you..."


	16. Chapter 16 Foolish or Heroic?

**thanks again for all the wonderful reviews.**

**I don't think of all the misery**

** but of the beauty that**

** still remains.**

** ~Anne Frank~**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 16**

**Foolish or Heroic?**

I was in the hospital as soon as I heard about Rose's surgery..., and Jasper's death. I couldn't believe it, I didn't know whether it was courageous or just plain stupid of him, I could understand where he was coming from though, desperate for your sister to live and she wouldn't stand a chance of living without organs that could and would take years to find.

Rosalie would've been on the waiting list for months, she would've been dead if it wasn't for her brother. If I had a sister that was in the same position as Rose, wait that's not right, Rose is my sister. If I knew she was this desperate for the organs then maybe I would've turned to suicide for her but my organs aren't healthy enough so it wouldn't have worked anyway.

Jasper obviously was thinking about Rose's health when he killed himself but he didn't think of all of the misery that she would have to deal with after he was gone. Being Rosalie's best friend..., being Rosalie's sister, I knew she would be in a deep depression for a long time, I knew she would be thinking about suicide and I knew that I needed to be with her to keep her sanity in tact.

Edward stood by me holding my hand as I sat on the chair that stood by Rosalie's bed in the cancer ward that I needed to be in a month ago but now I was recovering from the disease and it was my duty to help Rose through it as well. She came first in my books, she was my main priority and Edward understood where I was coming from. I gulped as I looked towards my old bed where another young girl lay with her parents, the chemo drip stuck into her tender arm as she stared at the clock that I used to look at to count away the minutes that the chemo took to take its course.

She was beautiful, I think her name was Leah Clearwater, I had seen her before in Forks with Jacob Black, my father's friend's son. She looked towards me and I quickly diverted my attention towards Edward who smiled down at me, staring was rude and that was something I didn't want to be.

"Bella..."

I looked up as she sighed my name weakly, I smiled and stood from my chair to greet her,

"Leah, right?" I asked as I looked at her parents who smiled at me silently,

she smiled and nodded.

"You had cancer too, was your chemo bad?" she asked weakly as she looked at the needle that stuck in her arm,

I sighed and nodded.

"Chemo is bad for everyone, I don't think anybody describes their chemo experience as being wonderful..." I smiled,

she laughed and nodded, I couldn't help but look at her hair, it was gorgeous and glossy. I hated thinking about anybody loosing their hair, it was traumatic for everybody. Even though she had short hair, it didn't matter, it was still painful to go through.

"Are you waiting for the nurse to come and hook you up to a machine or something?" she asked,

I smiled and shook my head.

"I'm cancer free for the moment actually, I'm waiting for a friend, my best friend..." I nodded,

she smiled widely revealing her beautiful white teeth,

"congratulations!" she nodded

I smiled.

"What cancer have you got?" I asked curiously as I sat on the edge of her bed,

she rolled her eyes,

"Lung cancer, I'm only in stage two right now but they want to treat it with a high dosage of chemo and radiation so it won't come back, so I'm lucky I guess."

I smiled and sighed,

"I had melanoma but my friend, Rosalie, my best friend, she's got leukaemia and it's pretty bad but she's having transplants right now so I hope she's all right.."

Suddenly I heard the door open, I looked up to see that girl..., the one that got along with Jasper pretty well. Alice. I gulped as I felt a bad feeling swirling in my stomach, she had a smile on her face so I was guessing that she didn't know. I hoped she knew, I really hoped she didn't ask me where he was or when he was coming back because I honestly didn't think I could handle the pain. She walked into the ward talking quickly like she usually did with her parents who looked drained from her constant conversations. But then it happened,

"Bella!" she smiled as she skipped towards me "Where's Jasper, is he here today, I think i'm going to ask him out!" she giggled.

I felt my jaw tremble and the tears swell in my eyes as my heart beat fast with nerves as I saw that beautiful smile change from hopeful to worried,

"What's wrong?" she asked softly as she placed her little hand on my arm supporting me.

Edward was beside me in an instant, Leah was confused about the situation that was beginning to unfold, I gripped onto Alice's hand gently,

"Jasper's not coming back, Jasper's dead, Alice..." I nodded as I felt the first tear fall from my eyes.

I watched her expression crumple as she fell to her knees, I grabbed her before she hurt herself, I pulled her into my arms and stroked her back.

"He was all I could think about for three weeks and I thought if I came back to hospital I would see him again!" she cried.

I shut my eyes tightly preventing the tears from leaving my eyes as I felt her being pulled from my arms and into the embrace of her father who took her from me and helped her to her bed. I couldn't hold it in any more, I grabbed Edward and let myself collapse into his arms with emotion. He kissed my cheek and stroked my short hair that was slowly growing back into its former glossy brown colour.

"It's okay, Bella, you're okay..." he sighed into my ear quietly as he pulled me towards Rosalie's bed letting me fall onto her bed.

I nodded, I was okay but Rosalie wasn't, Alice wasn't okay, Leah wasn't okay, I was fine and I had the nerve to cry?

I took in a deep breath and stopped myself from crying, I was stronger than this, I sat quietly as I watched little Alice cry in her mother's arms as her father stroked her hair, that girl had lost her first love.

"I shouldn't be the one who survived cancer, Rosalie shouldn't been the one who got the good news and me the bad news. Then all of this crap wouldn't have happened, she and Emmett would be happy and Jasper would be alive and little Alice would be happy with him..."

Edward grabbed my arm and forced me to look at him,

"Don't you dare say that, I love you and I don't want to hear that crap leave your mouth again, you're a survivor and Rosalie is too because her brother was willing to sacrifice himself for her. If you were in Rosalie's position then I would've done the exact same thing!"

I looked at him with horror and shook my head,

"If you did that then I would hate you, I would hate you forever!" I growled angrily.

Edward pulled me towards him and cuddled me close,

"I know, that's probably what Rosalie is thinking right now, Alice doesn't know that he committed suicide but when she does find out then she'll hate him too. But they'll forgive him in time, it may take months or years but they'll forgive him because he did the bravest thing that a person could do. Taking his life to save another, that takes nothing but love and courage..."

I nodded as I understood him, Jasper was not a fool for doing what he did, Jasper was a hero, a saviour. Jasper was an angel.


	17. Chapter 17 Thoughts & Worries

Thanks for the reviews!

**Courage is being**

** afraid but going**

** on anyhow. **

** ~Dan Rather~**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 17**

**Thoughts & Worries**

I sat there silent as I watched her breathe slowly with an oxygen mask placed over her snow white face, her surgery went well as planned but apparently there were complications with the rhythm of her heart when she was put to sleep. I was a very nosey person, I got it from my mother, listening in on the doctors private conversations was a hobby of mine.

I was afraid to look away even for the slightest second, I was terrified that she would stop breathing, I didn't know exactly what organs of Jasper's she had received, probably his kidneys and liver but I didn't know how complicated her heart had been through the surgery so I didn't know if that had been transplanted too.

Rosalie was supposed to be dead, she would've been dead if it wasn't for those organs. I could only hope that she got better and that the cancer was gone, but that part was still unknown to me, when they opened her up they would've seen her cancer and how bad it was. And I wasn't dumb, if the cancer had spread more to her brain then it could easily spread back to the new organs inside her body, if that was the case then Rosalie would need to go through more chemo therapy along with radiation treatments and more blood samples would have to be taken.

All of those factors would lead to more surgeries to be taken place on her already exhausted body, I didn't understand how she could go through all of the things she had gone through. I wasn't nearly as brave as she had been over these long years, her suffering was ten times as worse than mines ever was and yet she still had the courage to carry on.

I knew that if I was told that I needed surgeries and chemo and radiation, I wouldn't go through with it. I wouldn't be able to handle all of that pain. Rose was a fighter, and here I was sitting by her side thinking about all the possible bad things that might of happened during her surgery, she may have been cured of this disease.

She may be completely healed and happy but the good thoughts are always shadowed over with the negative doubts that still lingered in the back of my mind. I hoped that she would be okay, that she couldn't need to undergo any more pain but I was a realist and I couldn't deny the fact that she still had a possibility of dying.

I sighed and took her hand gently within mine, I looked at all the tubes and wires that were connected to her body, an IV drip hanging by her bed, the heart monitors beeping away, a tube sticking out of her stomach connected to a bag by her bed that was filled with blood.

I gulped, after all the blood tests that I had, had, I still hated the sight of it. I watched her sleep when I heard a patter of footsteps from behind me, I turned to see her parents. Dr and Mrs Hale, I stood from the chair by Rose's bed and dropped her hand gently on the bed as I walked to greet them.

Carlisle looked pleased to see me, the same gentle smile on his face that he always had, Rosalie looked exactly like him, their resemblance was actually quite scary come to think about it. Esme, however, looked miserable, I couldn't blame her for all the trouble she had been through with Jasper's death and Rosalie's cancer, it must have left a permanent scar across her heart.

"Hello, Bella!" Carlisle smiled as he pulled me into a tight embrace which I didn't quite expect from him,

Esme gave me a small smile but that was it, she didn't speak to me as she walked towards Rosalie's bed with her handbag clutched tightly between her fingers. Carlisle sighed as he watched his wife take a seat by his daughter,

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked in a soft tone, "Rosalie, I mean..."

Carlisle sighed and shrugged his shoulders which wasn't a good sign coming from a doctor,

"I can't tell at this stage, when she wakes up we'll be able to do a CAT scan to see if the transplants were successful in destroying the cancer but I'm not sure if she's be that lucky to be honest..."

I frowned, I didn't like when I didn't get straight answers. Either Rosalie was going to be fine and on the road to recovery or she was going to stay in the hospital and still have terminal cancer which could and would kill her within the three month limit. I couldn't bare to think about it, the feeling I got in the pit of my stomach when I even considered Rose's death was horrible.

"Well I have to go now, tell Rose to call me when she wakes up, or if she can't manage to call me will you?" I asked as I looked towards her still sleeping,

Carlisle nodded before patting my shoulder,

"I sure will..."

I nodded then the thought of that beautiful little girl popped into my mind, the one who reminded me of a fairy, Alice. I never really got the chance to explain to her about Jasper's death, I hoped she was okay.

"Um, do you know Alice, the little girl who was here a few days ago?" I asked curiously as I folded my arms across my chest,

Carlisle's eyebrows raised as he nodded once,

"The one who likes to talk non stop?" he smiled "Yes, I know who she is but not personally, why?"

I sighed, obviously he didn't know the special relationship that Jasper and Alice had even if it was only for a short period of time. I knew from the first moment that those two looked at each other that they were in love, the kind that sends butterflies in the pit of your stomach.

"She was pretty torn up after she heard the news about..., about..." I felt bad because I didn't know whether to mention his name or not.

Carlisle nodded,

"Jasper, I know, it's hard to say his name, whenever I say his name out loud..., I always expect him to come running to me..., Jasper was a good kid, such a good kid. He always looked up to me, wanted to be doctor too, always playing with my scalpels..., tearing holes in Rosalie's dolls with them driving her crazy. Jasper was my boy, my son, such a great kid..."

I watched as his speech began to get shaky, he patted my shoulder,

"I'm sorry, Bella, I don't know when Alice will be coming back for her treatments so I can't tell you when you'll see her again. You should go now before your dad starts to call out a search party!" he winked,

I laughed. Charlie would probably do that even if I was only ten minutes late,

"Well, thanks, Dr Hale, I'll see you tomorrow?" I smiled "Hopefully Rose will be awake by then..."

He nodded and I turned away walking towards the exit taking one more glance towards Rose, now I had another priority..., Alice.


	18. Chapter 18 Hope is a Funny Thing

I'm terribly sorry for the slow updates, please forgive me! And once again thank you for the lovely reviews!

_**Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice,**_

_** while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good;**_

_** that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding;**_

_** and that there is always tomorrow.**_

**Dorothy Thompson**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

**Hope is a Funny Thing**

I couldn't believe that he was gone, it just didn't seem possible that one moment he was fine and the next he was laying six feet deep in a coffin. When I had first met Jasper it was if a light had switched on in my heart, I really believed that I had found a true soul mate but now those thoughts were just distant memories.

People may have thought that killing yourself for a family member was courageous but personally I thought that it was absolutely disgusting, how he could just end his healthy life for someone who was already doomed anyway. I know that sounds horrible but honestly I couldn't care, the anger that sizzled within me was overwhelming, Rosalie was dead from the moment they said stage five but that idiot of a boy just couldn't handle it.

I loved him, I loved him more than life itself and I felt strongly that the blame should be put on his sister. She was now going to live with his organs, she was the one to blame. Now I really couldn't see the point of carrying on with my life, if he killed himself then why couldn't I go the exact same way. I still have cancer but it isn't bad, in fact one little operation will completely cure me of the life wrecking disease. I would be healthy but Jasper would still be dead, if there is a god then he is cruel and a vicious bastard.

"Alice?"

a knock on my door, step mother once again, I hated her guts. She annoyed the life out of me, she could go rot in a ditch somewhere in Russia for all I care. I swear to god that cancer is a joy compared to having this hag on my toes constantly.

"What the hell do you want now?" I hissed angrily, my hands had already clenched themselves into fists as I frowned at the bedroom door with intensity knowing that the leech stood behind it.

"You have a visitor..." she sighed,

I frowned, visitors were not welcome, I hated all people right now.

"Tell whoever it is to piss the hell off and leave me alone!" I hissed as I grabbed a book from my bedside cabinet wrenching it open angrily.

I heard voices talking lowly and then my door opened, that woman should be shot, I growled and dug my nails into the book ready to throw it at her as soon as she walked in. Then a girl walked in, Bella Swan to be exact, I relaxed my fingers and threw my book aside to the floor as she approached me slowly with a smile filled with anxiety probably because of the mean look I was giving her.

"Before you say anything, Alice, I need to let you know that I'm worried about you to the point where I can't function without thinking of you..."

I frowned as she spoke the words quickly. My expression relaxed slightly and I patted the bed for her to come join me, I could be a little evil looking sometimes which made people nervous.

"Worried about me?" I frowned "why aren't you worried about your disgusting life ruining friend, Rosalie stinking Hale?"

I watched as Bella's expression turned from calm to completely anger filled, she pointed to me as her jaw began to tremble.

"Don't you dare bring Rose into this conversation, she has nothing to do with this what so ever, Alice!" Bella spat,

I was silent for a moment huffing and rolling my eyes as I remembered that I had to be respectful which obviously was a hard thing for me to do. Living with a dumb ass step mum caused me to loose much of my respect, it was my mission in life to get my father to divorce that rat of a woman. I didn't hate her for no reason or I would probably be crazy, after the several affairs that she had with idiots behind my father's back and her disgusting taste in fashion just angered me. The worst thing was that my father knew about these affairs but he was just in denial about the whole thing.

"Rosalie had nothing to do with Jasper's suicide, he chose to do it for her and she was in shock like all of us. But the only difference is that she actually tried to kill herself afterwards..." Bella sighed,

I sighed with her, sometimes I could be very mean and thoughtless when it came to people I didn't know but the harsh words that left my mouth were not serious.

"Alice, I want to help you..."

I frowned at Bella, what the heck did she mean now?

"I don't need any of your pathetic help!" I rolled my eyes lazily as I picked at my finger nails in boredom.

I felt her gorgeous chocolate eyes on me as I stared at my hands, she gripped onto my wrist gently and looked at the ring that was on my left middle finger.

"That's a beautiful ring, did you get that from your step mum?" she asked with a smile,

I huffed and pulled my hand away,

"No!" I shook my head "my mother gave it t me before she died a few years ago,"

Bella nodded politely as I explained the part of my life that I never liked to talk about. My mother was the best person I had ever met, she loved me and I loved her but our relationship was cut short when she died in child birth with my little brother, Michael.

"I know you're having trouble dealing with Jasper's death and that's the reason I'm here, Alice, I want you to be my friend. I want to get to know you better and this may not be to your ideal taste either but you could learn a lot more about Jasper if you talked with Rosalie..." Bella frowned.

I gulped, I did want to know about Jasper, I wanted to see his face again in pictures, I wanted to see his eyes again and the only way I could really see those eyes was to look into Rose's.

"Please tell me that you'll come by Rosalie's home one day?" she asked as she grabbed a pen out of her pocket and wrote a phone number, street name and house number on a spare piece of paper that lay on the bed.

I looked at the numbers and looked at Bella once again, she was smiling at me waiting for a sign of happiness in my eyes, happiness almost seemed strange to me. I couldn't remember the last time I was happy, and that was the feeling I wanted to find again so with a deep breath I smiled widely at Bella and nodded.

"I'll drop by soon, I guess it's time for a change after all, huh?" I smiled as I shrugged my shoulders,

Bella smiled and hugged me close before standing to her feet,

"Well, I have to go now, Alice, bye..." Bella waved before leaving my bedroom.

I sighed as I looked at the numbers again, hope really was a funny thing.


	19. Chpt19 Some Things Just Can't Be Fixed

_Thank You for the reviews..._

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**_~"She said she usually cried at least once each day_**

**_ not because she was sad, __but because the world was so beautiful_**

**_ and life was so short."_**

_**Author Unknown.~**_

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**Chapter 19**

**Some Things Just Can't Be Fixed**

It was raining, a typical day in the lonely little town of Forks, I had thought about what Bella had told me and to be honest my stubbornness seemed to have just floated away in the wind. Meeting up with Rosalie for the first time since Jasper's death wasn't going to be easy but then again, nothing ever was in my life.

I sighed as I stood outside the large home than belonged to doctor Carlisle Hale and his wife, I looked down at the little piece of scrap paper that had the address jotted down in Bella's scribbled hand writing. I knew I was standing in front of the right home but it was difficult for me to decide if I wanted to go and introduce myself to her or not, the rain was now pouring down on top of me but as I was about to take a step away from the house a beautiful ray of sunshine fell down on the road.

I gasped as I felt tingles running up and down my arms, the clouds were a creamy golden colour that instantly had me believing that it was a sign from Jasper, a sign from heaven that he wanted me to knock on the door. That was all it took, I dropped the piece of paper and watched it float to the ground lightly and land in a puddle, I felt the pain ache in my chest and the tears began to fly down my face.

"He's really gone..." I cried,

suddenly I felt warmth surround me, I took a shaky breath and looked by my side to see Rosalie holding me in her arms,

"I know..." she whispered "i miss him too!"

I frowned and let my head fall on her shoulder, as soon as the grief appeared to have disappeared it always sneaks up on you in the worst of times. I gulped slowly and looked into her gorgeous eyes, his eyes,

"Come inside, you're awfully wet..." she smiled as she took my hand and lead me into her home shutting the door behind her.

My knees felt weak as I looked at the beautiful home, there were family pictures on the walls, I stared at Jasper what seemed like forever, just looking into his magnificent eyes that were filled with joy. Rosalie offered to take my coat,

"Would you like a cup of coffee, Alice?"

I nodded slowly not paying much attention to her voice, I barely noticed she had left for the kitchen, instead I looked over the photos with a smile as I saw how happy he was with his family. But one photo in particular caught my attention, the one where he and Rosalie were in the hospital, she looking at the camera with a twinkle in her eye as an oxygen mask was placed over her mouth.

And Jasper looking at her with the biggest amount of pride, the love he felt for his sister shone through and the love I felt in my heart at the sight of the siblings warmed me up completely. I gulped and blinked a few times before turning to see Rosalie standing with a cup in her hand, a slight smile spread across her beautiful face. She still looked very pale though, dark circles rimmed her eyes but the positive thing was that her blonde hair was just starting to grow back.

"I brought you some coffee..." she smiled as she placed the cup on the cabinet that stood by the staircase,

I walked towards her slowly and looked into her eyes before hugging her, I held her tightly feeling tears swell in my eyes once again. She was so brave,

"Are you cured of cancer, Rosalie?" I asked desperately as I wiped the tears from my cheeks before she noticed I was crying for her.

I stepped back to take a look at her face, she looked confused but she understood,

"I'm having blood work and a few CAT scans done in a couple of weeks to see if the cancer has gone, but I had stage five leukaemia, Alice..." she frowned at the floor as she clasped her hands together nervously.

I felt my heart stop, she didn't seem confident at all about this which made me want to know even more of what actually was going on,

"But you got Jasper's organs, you should be healthy now, right?" I shrugged anxiously.

I watched a flicker of pain fill her eyes,

"I got Jasper's liver, I got his kidneys and I got his lungs," she nodded "But the last time I was in hospital, Alice, I had cancer in my brain and there is still a chance of it spreading throughout my body again so I don't want to be too hopeful about this just yet..."

The happiness that I had felt yesterday now had just exploded into an anger and sorrow, I shook my head unable to speak to Rosalie. I gulped back my tears and took a deep breath that was filled with the shock of the situation,

"Is there still a chance of you dying?" I asked lowly,

I faced her, looking into her eyes that closed as I said the word which was an obvious yes. I couldn't believe it,

"You're not going to die, Rosalie!" I shook my head "You can't..."

She approached me slowly with pain still visible in her eyes, she was truly like an angel, worried about me instead of herself.

"It's okay, I'm prepared for the worst to happen..."

I frowned and shook my head as another tear fell from my eye,

"But there is still a chance that the cancer has gone, right?" I asked shakily "Jasper will save you, I'm sure of it..."

Rosalie shook her head and took a step away from me, she looked down at the floor with confused eyes,

"There is still a possibility that I'm cured but I'm a realist not an optimist, Alice,"

I ran my fingers through my hair and nodded,

"Well maybe you should just try being the opposite for a change, but please just take care of yourself."

Rosalie nodded, I cuddled her quickly making sure to be careful in case I hurt her, she was so skinny, like a bag of bones. The amount of chemo therapy Rosalie had, had really made her look incredibly sick, hopefully chemo wouldn't be needed and she could live a normal life again, hopefully...


	20. Chapter 20 Wilting Rose

_**~Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.~**_

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**_Chapter 20_**

**_Wilting Rose_**

It was three o'clock in the morning and my phone was ringing, something was wrong, I could feel it.

"Hello?" I answered immediately, my voice still tired after being waken up at this hour.

There was no reply immediately but I could hear chaos in the background, people talking quickly,

"Bella, it's Emmett, I think you should come to the hospital right now..." the familiar deep voice of Emmett's was shaky with emotion which made my heart stop suddenly with panic.

My breath hitched and I gripped the phone tightly,

"Is she okay?" I demanded angrily trying desperately not to cry, "Is she okay!" I repeated myself more angrily as I got no answer from him the first time.

I heard him sigh, not a good sign from the sounds of things,

"She's stable..., for now..." he whispered,

I gulped a few times trying to rid the painful lump that had formed in my throat from the emotions I was feeling.

"Okay..." was all I could manage as I hung up on him, I felt my heart collapse as I dialled the only number I knew off by heart.

I waited, hearing the phone on the other end ring a couple of times before hearing the voice I needed to hear,

"Edward..." I cried as I let my head fall into my hands, "Please, meet me at the hospital, Rosalie's dying!" I felt my heart shatter at the words that left my mouth.

Because for the first time in the whole time I had known Rosalie, dying was a word that was steadily becoming a disgusting reality.

My bedroom door swung open and Charlie walked in turning on the light, he saw the tears streaming down my face as I held myself on the bed,

"Bella, what's wrong. Are you hurt?" he asked "Did you have a nightmare?"

he wrapped his strong arms around me and held me against him until I could calm down enough to tell him.

"Rosalie's dying, dad, she's dying!" I gripped onto him tightly, "I need to go to the hospital, now!"

He nodded leaving my room probably to wake Rene, I quickly got dressed trying to wipe the red marks under my eyes away from crying.

I tied my hair back messily and hurried out of my bedroom, bolting downstairs at top speed grabbing my coat and heading out of the door before my parents could catch me. I didn't need them to be there with me, she was my friend not theirs, she needed me and not them. I rubbed my face before bumping into something hard, I growled and looked up to see Edward.

"I told you to meet me at the hospital, Edward!" I snapped,

he just looked at me apologetically and wrapped his arms around me warmly, this is what I needed. I nodded and pulled away from him taking his hand in mine as I headed towards his car.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Bella," Edward tried to comfort me but nothing was working as the thought of my Rose lying in a bed with a breathing tube down her throat flashed in my mind.

I sat in Edward's car with my face presses against the cold window which was some what relieving, I sighed as I tapped my foot impatiently on the car floor.

"Edward, Rosalie's going to die soon, I can feel it!" I cried once again clasping my hand over my mouth in disbelief as the words echoed in my mind like glass was piercing my skin.

I felt his free hand grip onto mine as we arrived at the hospital entrance, I grabbed my hand back away from him and pushed the door open running as fast as I could to the receptionist.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale!" I practically screamed at her,

the old woman looked at me with a stern look which pissed me off to the point where I wanted to rip her face off.

"Rosalie Hale!" I spat once again slamming my fist on the table angrily,

she rolled her eyes and tapped the keys on the keyboard looking at the list of people on the computer screen in front of her.

"Second floor, cancer unit..." she said lazily, Edward was beside me,

I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the elevator. We walked inside, I tapped the buttons frantically as the door shut and we were on our way to the second floor. I sighed impatiently when the doors pinged open.

"Thank god!" I growled as I ran into the corridor where immediately I spotted Esme and Emmett,

I sighed as she looked at me with a broken expression, one that I knew all too familiar. I ran towards her,

"Esme, what's going on, what's happened to her?" I gasped.

Esme gulped as she looked at Emmett who was silent, his face pale,

"Her kidneys and liver are failing..., the cancer's spread again and it's worse..."

I couldn't believe it,

"How long?" I asked through my teeth.

Esme frowned as she began to breathe heavily,

"a week!" she sobbed into my arms "a damn week!"

I cried with her, it was true..., my rose was wilting away...


	21. Chapter 21 Goodbye

**Thanks again for the lovely reviews. This isn't the last chapter...**

_**Every parting is a form of death,**_

**_ as every reunion is a type of heaven. _**

**_~Tryon Edwards~_  
**

**Chapter 21**

**Goodbye**

I had the strangest feeling of peace as I lay in the hospital bed that stood by the window which had a gorgeous view of the pink coloured clouds in the sun setting sky. It was obvious to me now, death was near but I wasn't scared which many would find brave or even insane but I had Jasper in all of my thoughts.

Jasper was with me, I could feel it in my heart. I sighed slowly feeling the liquid in my lungs bubbling, breathing was hard now as my senses grew weaker. I closed my eyes for a moment feeling a warm sensation around my hand like it was being held,

"Jasper?" I smiled as I opened my eyes to see my father standing above me smiling as his eyes filled with tears.

"Daddy..." I gulped as I grasped his hand in mine weakly "Don't cry, I'm fine,"

He lowered his head kissing my forehead and stroking my hair gently,

"Do you know how brave you are, my baby girl, huh?" he asked in barely a whisper as a tear fell from his eye.

I could hear the door open, people were walking in slowly, I couldn't raise my head, I was so tired it was unbelievable. I gulped as I turned my head slowly to see my mother, Bella and my darling Emmett staring at me looking so sad. My mother broke down again, she ran out of the room my father following her quickly, she shouldn't have come into the room when I looked like this. She was still under so much stress dealing with the loss of my brother, Jasper who I could feel close to me like a ghost embracing me with warmth.

"Bella..." I smiled as I reached my hand out toward her, she gripped onto me gently and lowered herself to my level,

she smiled, those chocolate eyes, so beautiful and warm. I giggled slightly as I stroked her beautiful locks of hair,

"You've got hair, Bells, congratulations!" I coughed weakly.

Bella nodded silently as her tears fell from her eyes dropping onto her hand, I gulped, she was my best friend in the whole wide world and I could've only wished to have spent more quality time with her. I stroked her hand and gulped once again, the liquid was horrible as it annoyed my voice and made my heart do weird fluttering movements.

"When I die, Bella, I want you to keep my diaries and jewellery box..."

She shook her head,

"Rose-"

I stopped her from speaking further,

"No!" I protested "This is very important to me!"

She nodded holding my hand tightly within her as I caught my breath again,

"In the box there's a locket..., that locket needs to go to Alice..., Jasper bought it for her before he died and I forgot about it but now I remember, make sure she gets it. Please?"

Bella smiled silently again nodding gently, I then turned my attention to Emmett. He stood behind Bella with this arms crossed as he stared at me, his eyes blood shot probably with crying earlier. I smiled at him raising my hand for him to come closer, he smiled gently still showing those gorgeous dimples.

"Emmett..." I smiled as I gripped his hand within mine, "I love you..."

He smiled and lowered his head towards me kissing my cheek gently,

"See this ring?" I smiled as I pulled the diamond ring from my index finger "I want you to have it!"

He gulped and took the ring from me staring at it for a long moment like it was a precious baby he was holding.

"Rosalie, I love you too," he nodded, his voice cracking with emotion as he stared into my eyes,

I smiled as I pulled the oxygen mask off of the bed side cabinet by my bed and put it over my mouth. I needed help, it was getting much harder to breathe and my body felt much weaker as pins and needles pricked up my arms and legs.

"I don't want you to die, why did this happen to you?" he asked angrily as he kissed my hand that was free of the IV drip that I needed to fuel my dying body.

Suddenly I heard the door open again, my mother and father walked in again looking much more calm that when they had left earlier,

"Mummy, I love you so much, so, so much..." I smiled as she walked towards me slowly her eyes red with crying.

She sat by my bed gripping onto my hand, I took in a deep breath of oxygen as I looked at my father.

"I'm going home..." I nodded "I'm going home..." I smiled,

my mother kissed my cheek,

"What do you mean sweetheart?" she asked me.

I gulped and looked around the room feeling much more relaxed and pain free, all pain was gone which was the first time that, that had happened in my whole life,

"Jasper's calling me to come home..., to come home to heaven..." I nodded.

My mother cried as she turned to look at my father who ran by my side, Bella and Emmett surrounded me as I hadn't felt so much love and peace. The room was darkening now, the light was disappearing,

"Daddy, I'm ready..." I nodded "Daddy where are you?"

I felt my father grab me gently his face against mine as he kissed my cheeks,

"I'm right here, baby, I'm right here..."

I held onto his arms tightly, suddenly a light from the shadow appeared.

"I see Jasper!" I smiled weakly "I'm coming home, Jasper, I'm coming to..."

I couldn't finish, everything was fading. Everything and then nothing...


	22. Chapter 22 It All Runs Together Ending

_**Well here it is, the ending to my story. Thank you so much more reading and reviewing it. I appreciate it very, very much. xx**_

_**If I had a single flower for**_

_** every time I think about you, **_

_**I could walk forever **_

_**in my garden. **_

_** ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi~**_

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_**Chapter 22**_

_**It All Runs Together.  
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_**Six weeks Later...**_

Sitting on my doorstep had become an awful habit these days, just staring down at my rose garden as floods of memories filled my mind. Rosalie had died six weeks ago in the arms of her father, the last words that I can remember her speaking is that she was going home to Jasper, that she could see him in heaven waiting for her.

God, I miss her so much, first thing in the morning and last thing at night is when it hits me hard, the fact that I will never get to see her lovely face again. Or hear her voice that comforted me so much when I was desperate for company, the hole that has been left in my heart isn't getting any smaller. It's getting bigger as the days pass, so much pain that I feel, it's horrible.

Yet I'm overjoyed that Rosalie doesn't have to suffer any more, I'm glad she's in heaven where she and her brother can be together again. I gulped as I looked up into the sky, white fluffy looking clouds had formed making shapes, the sun was shining brightly down onto my shoulders making me feel warm.

It was an unusual happening, maybe a sign from Rosalie that she wasn't gone, only in a different world, a short distance away smiling down at me. It made me feel good inside that perhaps that was the exact thing she was doing, her and Jasper together.

"I miss you so much..." I whispered quietly as a smooth breeze blew across my face gently,

suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked up to see Alice smiling down at me with the locket Jasper had bought her around her neck.

I patted the step for her to come join me in remembering my sister and her brother,

"Do you think there's a God?" Alice asked me as she gripped the locket gently between her fingers,

I sighed and shrugged, that was a question I had asked for a long time.

"I don't know if there's a god..., but there are angels, that's something i'm sure of,"

she looked to me and smiled as she rested her head on my shoulder sighing slowly as we both looked to the sky. I bit my bottom lip and looked to my side where I had placed Rosalie's light pink diary that she had asked me to keep. I hadn't the courage to read it before but now the time seemed just right, I raised the diary into my hands and opened the cover. I read the first words and my heart melted like butter,

_Dear Diary,_

_today I realised something, Jasper's organs aren't working. Maybe this is a sign that I belong in heaven and not in this world full of suffering. The pains are getting worse as the days come and go but the feeling of being complete overwhelms me, I must admit that I'll miss a few things._

_ The way the grass moves on a breezy day, the smell of fresh rain, the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the flowers in mid summer. Then of course there are the important things, my mother and father, my sweet Emmett and of course Bella. _

_What will happen to them when i'm gone? That question is the most frustrating of them all. I love them, I love everything about them and I just wish I could live long enough to see Bella's hair grow to the length it was before, it seems so stupid but it's important to me. She's my best friend, my sister, the reason I laugh on a gloomy day and the reason I feel warm on a cold day. _

_She's the entertainment on a boring day and the carer when I I need help. Bella's my world, I'm a very lucky person to meet someone so special. Well, diary, I guess this is my last entry until my death so all I have to say is goodbye._

I read the beautiful hand writing and felt the tears roll down my face, I sighed deeply as I looked up to the sky once again with a silent thank you to Rosalie for her friendship and love. For she was also my everything, my happiness, my friend, my sister, my carer, my world... And that's the moment I realised it, all of our feelings, our blood, our happiness and sadness. Our joy and tragedy, our tears of both sadness and amusement..., It all runs together forever.


	23. SEQUEL COMING SOON!

**Sequel Coming Soon!**

Thank you all very much for reading this story, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

This was an emotional story to write as I have had a family member who found out they had cancer.

Well this is just a review of my own, just to let everybody know that **there will be a sequel **to It All Runs Together, continuing from Bella and Alice's point of views, this story will be entitled **Roses In December **and I am in the process of writing the first chapter.

I hope you will all enjoy this next piece of writing as you enjoyed It All Runs Together.

Thank you all.

**_DMcInk_**


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